The Innate Experience

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No, I’m not talking about my experience at InEight, the company with the handsy and mouthy CEO that purchased et alia and then fired me. That company spelled their name with the number eight.

They held a “convention” the year they purchased et alia called The InEight Experience. “Experiment” is a better word for what they attempted; an illegal one at that.

It's ok to be nervous. That's natural. It's innate. It takes a key wit to make people nervous. That's what's in my DNA.

This is a separate experience altogether. No one is safe; not from this.

Any resemblance to real life is purely coincidental. Besides, it doesn’t matter. I never signed anything (or received money) that said I couldn’t talk.

That's all I need to sleep well at night.

My Innate Experience

Something happened along the way to my happy ending; a detour of sorts.

The train left the station before the people on board realized it was moving.

That’s an easy feat to manage in a windowless getaway car – the inconvenient car equipped with a bootlegger bar.

Is it possible to be nothing and everything all at once?

Up, up, and away! From experiment to life altering experience.

Fearsome 40

What’s a first time unemployed person to do? Look for a job, right? Seems logical. So I did. To no avail.

In the beginning of unemployed status, I met with a placement company who wanted me to pay them to find me a job.

They told me I was an ENTJ. I had a couple interviews on my own.

I failed some kind of test during my interview with State Farm.

Also, I have 15 years executive HR experience and Zenefits (an HR services company) didn’t want to talk to me. I was overqualified for an HR company.

I abandoned my focused job search by the end of 2015. All signs in my daily life pointed in the direction to give writing a shot.

Lord knows, I've said I should be a writer enough times throughout my life.

There comes a time when you need to either put up, or shut up.

I had whatever retirement I had, and a house. I reeled in my job search while I figured out what I wanted to do with Devilish Smirk.

I've not been paid for anything I've written. Monetizing words is not an easy order to fill. That requires a lot of energy, along with a solid foundation of content.

My eyes are on content, 100% of the time. Eyes. Plural. Both of them.

All About the Story

I came out swinging.

It’s not always easy to express what’s going on inside one’s head.

Being a writer means you’ll piss someone off along the way. Some say you haven’t made it as a writer until you’ve done so. If that’s the case, then mission accomplished.

I don't think anyone makes it as a writer until their banks and credit cards are pulling them into court. Even then, there are no guarantees.

My story.

I’ve been blessed with the attitude and enough conviction where I have no qualms sharing the things I’ve witnessed in life. Especially things I continue learning. I’m 44, I’ve learned a lot, and have a lot of things to say, across the board.

No topic is off limits, especially my own shortcomings. Try putting a label on that. Let’s be honest, we all have stories. Dark ones. Tell me I’m wrong.

This is our world. Join me while I play in it.

This is the only way I can make sense of the world in which I live.

Story Time

I have a friend. His name is Brandon, but I call him Brand. Much like Darby, Brand’s unemployed. He’s looking for a job, and has a long story of his own.

In case you missed who Darby is, she's the fulltime, unemployed acronym, Dreams Are Realized By You. Here's her history.

Brand hasn’t worked in a while; it’s been about four years. He just turned 48.

The major difference between Darby and Brand is that he's not an acronym. Not yet.

Brand has his own experience with job search chronologies, rescinded offers, and other bizarre shit.

He has ideas about what he wants to do, and has vivid specifics of everything he won’t.

Brand was fucked with from all sides, and then forced to fire his best friend, who became some sort of smirking writer.

Brand isn't one to be fucked with. Why? That will become more clear in future stories about him.

That’s just part of him that people have to accept.

Brand is a Dreamer and, like Darby, his Dream is a Grower

All about the story.

Brand’s been on the job hunt. Unlike Darby, who’s stuck in dreamland, dreams aren’t good enough for Brand. Especially if all they ever amount to are dreams.

Darby's there by choice, by the way.

But Brand doesn’t have dreams anymore. He has nightmares, and Brand’s nightmares are creeping into his reality.

Bad Brand?

He was applying for what felt like every job under the sun, but nobody was biting.

You're overqualified! I'm sorry, Brand. The offer we extended you 12 hours ago - that's no longer valid. Best of luck, hopefully we can stay in touch. We've opted to pursue other candidates.

Only offer parts of you that you’re willing to give.

If Brand had his druthers, he’d be on some sort of stage, singing. If there’s a constant beat to Brand’s life, it’s that of his voice.

Brand can sing like no other. His talent was apparent early on, but there are reasons for Brand's detour.

A hard stop was thrown in Brand’s path whose tracks took off in another direction.

Denied Days of Disney, Purdue, NASA, Madison, MCAT, Chemical Engineering, SAP, Tellabs, DUCT, ZIM, RAC, Turner, Churchill, Kiewit, InEight, Medical Records, Scottsdale.

The stuff of dreams...

Meanwhile, back in Brand’s reality…25 years later, the U.S.A. is still on that downward detour.

It’s so bad, that Donald J. Trump is the president of the forsaken country.

A Change of Heart

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Brand wondered to himself.

Oops, we made a mistake, when can you come in for an interview?

Before he had a chance, that last part happened.

Brand applied for five positions at a prominent local grocer. He received eight confusing, seemingly replicated, but differently worded rejection emails.

That company called him.

Two hiring managers, both of them, left Brand voicemails stamped 2:01 PM on the same day. Both locations consecutively changed their minds, simultaneously realizing their previous mistake.

What are the odds? *ahem* ~~Illumiti and Kiewit~~

Long story short, Brand met with one of them. Don’t interrupt Brand. Bagging groceries *enter sarcasm* is his passion.

Everyone Deserves a Chance

Brand’s life is a real-time saga playing out daily. He wakes up, every day without answers to many of life’s glaring questions.

Just give me a chance! Yes, I may seem overqualified or not fitting exactly into your idea for the role but if you give me a chance what is the worst that could happen? And the best is a big upside! *Fun Fact: Brand has a degree in Chemical Engineering as well as an MBA.*

Brand accepted a position at a local grocery store just blocks from where he lives. He doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but he’s grateful for the step in the right direction. It’s a job and more than anyone else has offered him.

Onward and upward!

Dumb Myself Down? Never!

Dumb it down is a contradiction to every sign along your path to become your best self.

A friend recently muttered these words as advice – some iteration of dumb it down. Why? Because experience excludes me from contention? I don’t know. I guess certain experience can appear intimidating, but nobody should have to lie about who they are.

It wasn't the first time I've heard this regarding a later life job search.

Dumb it down? No. Misinformation about me by my own making? Which version of you is true? Thank you, but no. That’s just bad advice.

People are people and people talk. It's in their DNA.

What happened to being better?

Just because you were a CEO, doesn't mean you weren't one when it comes to getting a job.

It’s beat into our subconscious minds to feel like we have to adapt our persona to fit a situation.

Don’t beat yourself into submission. It’s up to you to not erase your past.

We are our own worst enemies, but we’re also our only advocates.

Traffic Trouble

What’s worse than a kid without talent?

Leashed potential. The unrealized dreams of a dream-filled kid, and the kid always told no.

Where are the kids whose career paths emerged only after being pushed off their paths to legendary status.

You have exactly one advocate you can count on.

I’m Leveling Up

I want to live up to my own expectation of me, myself and I. It’s something I have to do for my own sanity. Always (or try to) be the best version of yourself, even when you’re knocked down.

It’s still a version.

Our ability to do good is only as powerful as the bad we've embraced about ourselves.

None of us are dealt things we’re incapable of handling.

If you want a life of candy, you must crush it.

I write like words spill out of my mouth. Editing is all the reason for me to write; it allows me to enhance, retract, rearrange and otherwise present my thoughts an organized flow.

The impact of story time on a child’s developing mind is immeasurable. Read storybooks to your kids or the kids in your life. Behind every storyteller is an active listener.

That’s a good first step.

Level Up

*No clowns or elephants were harmed in the production of this story.

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Midlife Career Crisis

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It Takes a Village

“Let them see you bleed.”

I will never forget the words, or the magnificent woman who took the time to say them to me in late 2015, after I read an article she wrote about entrepreneurship.

Thank you, Tammy Bleck, for planting early seeds for my botanical growth.

To everyone else, blame her.

My Journey Becoming a Writer

Life isn’t meant to be simple, but I don’t believe it’s meant to be repetitively difficult.

That’s what happens when we all (willingly or not) have one foot stuck in our country’s sphincter, which is worse than quicksand. It’s the political equivalent of being stuck, waist deep, in the mudflats of an inlet, just hours from high tide.

All you can do is watch – and hope – that some kind soul will risk life and limb to cut off your legs in order to save your life.

A writer’s words stem from their own close encounters with painful times. Even the joyful ones.

I was “laid off” on April 13, 2015. I was 40. For the first time in my life, I was unemployed. It felt like my life was crumbling – because it was.

In reality, it was crumbling well ahead of my consciousness of the crisis, and one I haven’t successfully resolved…yet.

At first, I looked for a job, but my heart wasn’t in it. I was freshly flung from my front row seat watching the rapid evaporation of the company I co-founded in 1999.

We sold in 2014 and I relocated to Arizona after accepting a position with the new company. Within 11 months, I was ~~laid off~~ retaliated against.

I never imagined the escalation of HR accusations reported to me, against the CEO, by employees I managed, would result in my ousting. Except, it did. That's another story currently under construction.

Time wouldn’t allow me to “move on” until I understood aspects of my past that were either hidden from me, or otherwise done to me while I wasn’t paying attention.

Letting your guard down is sometimes confused for weakness and that's what predators look for in their next meal.

Want to talk about privilege? Privilege is when you’re comfortable enough to let your guard down regardless of the circumstance.

What’s an Unemployed 40-year-old to do?

Reflect.

I asked myself this question nearly four years ago, but it seems like yesterday. To be fair, I’ve asked myself this question every day since I stopped receiving a paycheck.

Take a step back.

On March 7, 2015, I attended a spring training game with the CEO. On March 9, 2015, I received the official complaint about the CEO. By April 14, I had no job. Regardless of the fact that, within those 11 months, I was promoted twice.

The skills I developed up until the day I was fired, grew from necessity, not love.

A fish out of water, I had no idea what to do. I was a jack of some trades and the master of none. I spent almost 16 years working in an industry that chewed and swallowed me like a piece of gum that didn't end up on the sole of a cheap shoe someone lost at a festival.

For a while, it felt like failure. Until time equipped me with a new perspective.

Turns out, it was the best, worst thing that ever happened to me.

Move On

That’s the worst (most simple) advice. It’s convenient and lazy and indicates the lack of interest to understand someone’s situation.

Misunderstanding your past doesn’t fix anything. In my experience, dismissing a situation so quickly is peculiar behavior. It usually indicates something’s not right.

In order for me to reconcile my past, I have to make peace with it and I can’t make peace with things I don’t understand.

One Foot in Front of the Other

Here in an instant, gone in a flash. What have I done to deserve this?

Life was no longer paycheck-to-paycheck. It became early retirement withdrawal after early retirement withdrawal until there was nothing more to take.

Life took a hard swipe and knocked me off my feet and left me leaving a six foot dent in the ground.

For the record, I never filed for unemployment. I still haven't, yet it's been almost four years since I received a paycheck. I'm not complaining. Just facts.

National Emergency vs. Career Crisis

Today, I find myself clawing my way out of a pile of ashes with no financial stability within reach. I’m a living, breathing Phoenix cliché. (Technically, I live in Scottsdale.) As hard as it’s been, I keep my head up. I will get there – or die trying.

That’s what it took for me to realize that my life was meant for more than a supporting role. Making something out of nothing is my only option.

At the end of the day, I want a roof over my head and my dog. All roads lead to there. That’s how it has to be. I didn’t make the rules.

If you want a life of candy, you have to crush it.

Silence speaks volumes, but so do I

I was raised understanding if I want something, I have to work for it.

Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho, Off to Work I Went

My first job was a paper route for the Anchorage Daily News. I was 11 and my parents were fine with my new responsibility. After all, I was the one getting up at 5:00 a.m.

At age 14, I had options. I was ready for the wonderful world of fast food! After assuring my parents that Arby’s wouldn’t interfere with my homework, they allowed me to enter the workforce. Arby’s led to TCBY, and TCBY was next door to Blockbuster, but they couldn’t hire me until I was 16.

Wow! What a difference! Blockbuster Video!

I finished my high school years at Blockbuster and I only quit that job because I left the state to attend the University of Wisconsin – Milwaukee (UWM).

Off to School I Went

I took a break from work my freshman year of college as I was busy keeping my head barely above academic probation. I received my one (and only) “F” that year. Math wasn’t my strong suit.

By the end of my freshman year, I hadn’t declared a major. All that mattered to me was that I had friends, I had fun, and I liked this new life.

Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho, Back to Work I Went

I spent the summer of 1993 commercial fishing near Kodiak island off the coast of Alaska. It was the longest, short stint of my life, but it paid well. It was rough work and I appreciate what that experience did for me.

Hopefully that's the last time I go 28 days between hot showers. The option was freezing Pacific salt water with a bar of Lava.

1993 wasn’t a great time to deal with being gay, much less in a place as isolated as Anchorage, Alaska.

Feeling like an outcast in Wisconsin was enough, and that flame was burning hot and fast. What Wisconsin had over Alaska was that none of my family lived there.

There’s a lot to be said for confidence that stems from a fresh start; one from which you cannot be shamed into submission.

I came out to my mom in September 1996. I remember it well. It was one of those "pivot events" in my life that changed my life's trajectory. I plan to write the story. Mom, you've been warned! It's actually really fucking funny but, right now, I need to bring this back to my career crisis.

I can’t remember exactly when I declared myself a Journalism major, but there was a deadline and I didn’t want any more math classes.

Back to School

My sophomore year, I worked at a campus night club. Also that year, I became a Housefellow (Resident Advisor) for UWM’s Department of Residence Life (DRL).

I spent two more years living (and working) in the dorms. But unlike the previous two, I was responsible for the behavior of 70-80 others.

The Journalist in Me

Newspapers are a recurring theme in my life, although I never wrote for one like Clark Kent. I landed a position in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel’s marketing department through a temp agency.

I graduated in 1997 with a Bachelor’s degree in Journalism supported with a bouquet of public relations classes.

After graduation, I was offered a job at a small marketing firm. For two years – I wrote and edited for corporate publications. After a very brief stint at Manpower, I resigned to start et alia, llc. with Brad Nicolaisen.

The et alia Years 1999-2014

Entrepreneurship.

Right By Writing

Passion is rooted in love, and I love writing. I love everything there is about storytelling and the emotions they trigger.

I started my journey by starting Devilish Smirk, and this summer marks its fourth year anniversary.

That's just, ok, wow...yea, no comment.

If anything it’s been one hell of a way for me to organize my thoughts. My notebooks look like a toddler got a hold of them.

Some hit a little too close to home, but life is messy like that. Nobody’s perfect and anyone who claims otherwise is full of shit.

A Devilish Perspective

When I was 24, the decision to start a company was easy. It was a no-brainer! Why? It’s simple. I was naïve as fuck.

When I was 40, it took me becoming unemployed to consider writing. I finally hit the “now or never moment”, and I chose now.

Regardless, what’s done is done. I feel like I understand strife in life. At least, I think I do.

I only know how I feel.

Sometimes I feel like the only person in my head, and that scares me. I doubt myself a lot and when I do, I always return to the same place:

I didn’t come to exist and settle for anything less than the best.

America, I'm just sayin' we could have a better president tomorrow. Let's grow the fuck up for a minute. My world is part of this galaxy too.

Shit or get off the pot!

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Distraction is Still the Main Attraction

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Distraction is the Main Attraction…Still…

His name is Mueller. He’s the elephant in every room, everywhere, sitting in the corner, staring in a mirror. Everything else is distraction.

Mirror, Mirror on Trump’s Wall

Mueller is watching the past unfold, beyond his reflection.

New sets of chips fall one right after another. A new picture is forming when it comes to U.S. history. It’s not as clear as it could be, but it’s markedly different than it was, albeit, more recognizable than I remember.

Good Lord, America, what have you gotten yourselves into?

Ladies and gentlemen, what you’re seeing is the difference between fuzzy recollections and completely false retellings of stories that were never rooted by facts in the first place.

According to the past I remember, the present is far more messed up than my ability to imagine messed up things. Today’s reality doesn’t seem realistic to me, but it’s the only reality that binds us all together.

Technology has enabled us to get at least a few things right. On the flipside, it’s also allowed us to get a lot more wrong.

Technology is useless at the expense of human decency resulting from the breakdown of interpersonal communication. As beneficial as it can be, it can dangerously reinforce the disdain we have for one another.

The Elephant In Every Room

I won’t continue to ignore the elephant in the room. Mueller is a modern day puzzle master – unlike U.S. leadership in Washington D.C., who are nothing more than modern day puzzle makers.

They don't solve anything; unless the solution is creating distrust and strife! And if that's the case, I'm on the wrong ship.

I can’t remember the last thing our government actually solved. Instead they are masters of flipping the narrative, pivot messaging, and mud slinging.

They do this long enough for people to forget they were arguing in the first place – until it happens again, whatever it is. That’s politics, kids. Politicians will say (or not say) anything for the vote.

Suddenly, you’re 44 and nothing has changed since the day you were born.

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle.

That’s what happens after decades of misinformation and manipulation pile on top of one another.

How can they see hear the truth above the roar?

Emotional Manipulation is Predatory Business, Similar to Human Trafficking

It’s time the U.S. Government quit playing games with its citizens and their emotions. The past is always repeating itself.

Whether or not the democrats can pull off a 1992 Clinton-era upset of a one-term president remains to be seen. The 2000 and 2016 elections prove one thing: republicans don’t need popularity to win.

What happens after democrats (Presidents Bill Clinton and Barack Obama) serve eight years, that they can’t close the gap between the popular vote and the electoral college?

The 2020 Election is for the democrats to lose. Maybe try focusing less in more populated areas and connect with the vast area within our borders, between the coasts, without losing sight of Alaska and Hawaii.

The Media is Full of Whores

Give 'em  the old razzle dazzle.

I think the media in the United States – coupled with our government – shares one grand manual surrounding one, simple directive: Distraction. Both have excelled in a way only possible in America.

How can they see with sequins in their eyes?

Hindsight is 20/20, but 2020 is right in front of us.

We communicate in ways you haven't imagined.

It’s absolutely ridiculous that anyone announce anything related to running for the presidency of this country.

This country is still waiting for signs of life from the campaign promises that led to democrat wins last year!

What? All of the sudden, they get a pass to do nothing, simply because they aren't Trump? Sorry, no.

The barrage of 2020 presidential candidates feels like a curtain call of Oscar contenders. Similar to this year’s Oscars, there’s no host to be had.

Who is running this country?

Much of our government is mired in controversy. Yet candidates still have their hat in the ring, while nobody does their current job. They’re too busy either running for president or talking about those who are.

There have been 17 total (so far) on the democrat side; the same number of candidates the republicans had going into the 2016 primaries.

While it’s hard to keep track (and who knows what to believe and when), there are 10 major democrat declarations, six other democrat declarations and one has already suspended his candidacy.

Don't forget what happened to the GOP in 2016. The greatest impact you can make, at this point, is the destruction of each other.

I pay close enough attention to know that almost all of major democrat contenders have called for the resignation of Virgina Governor Northam over a blackface controversy. Some have even gone so far as to call for the resignation of his lieutenant governor over alleged sex crimes.

But they aren’t talking about that anymore. They’ve moved on. Far be it anyone have conviction these days.

I’m pulling for you. You all sound like great leaders!

Collusion is the New Illusion

What does Russia have to do with any of this?

I'll say this, Russia is merely the name by which this investigation is known and extends far beyond Russia.

When I lay it all out, take a step back, and absorb it for what it appears to be, a revised scenario becomes visible.

Just below the surface is a scenario that’s widely more expansive and, as ridiculous as it sounds, begins to make sense.

Controversially Convenient

The only controversy that matters in the USA, right now, is the distraction itself. Nothing we see in the media is by accident. There’s no such thing as “by accident” anymore. Things don’t happen by accident, especially anything you haven’t seen with your own eyes.

The truth is well on its way to the surface but, like Karma, she’s on her own schedule. We’re simply blessed to see highlights of things she discovered along the way.

Paul Manafort, Roger Stone, Jeffrey Epstein, Jussie Smollet, Robert Kraft, Colin Kaepernick…is it possible these aren’t entirely separate stories? Can any of them be taken at face value, or do they represent something bigger? Something classified?

What happened to our country after Justice Scalia died? What investigations are ongoing that aren’t front and center?

The Trump Card is The Joker

It will be interesting to learn whether or not Mueller’s investigation yields unsavory outcomes for the president and his family.

It’s no wonder they prefer trophy hunting abroad, rather than deal with the elephants lining the walls of their ivory tower.

The entire charade is on the shoulders of one man. His name is Mueller, and he is the elephant in every room.

The past two years feel illegitimate enough. Part of me thinks the 115th congress couldn’t do anything with the results of Mueller’s investigation. But now that the 116th congress is in full swing (national emergency and all), it’s time to act like we have one. Because we do. It’s just not about a wall along our damn border.

It’s theoretically impossible for us to progress as a country until Mueller is done. Let’s wrap it up, people.

To our do nothing government:

I’d like to introduce you to your new best friend, the heavy weight of the world.

Don't lose sight of the fact that every single one of is a product of our own environment.

That’s not to say we haven’t wound up in situations of others’ making. We have a word for those in life: Curveballs.

One can only hope that the today’s headlines and the public discourse (the better part of the last 40 years), results in something meaningful.

At least meaningful enough that we don’t have to repeat whatever the hell is going on currently. Time will tell. It’s clear nobody in Washington can do anything about it.

Carry on.

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The Heart of a Nation

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Walking in a Winter Wonderland

On the first day of Winter, Winter gave to me: Words inspired by a skeleton, some Coke, and the ghost of a dog. What did it give to you?

“Oh no, here he goes again…” Ho, Ho, Ho!

When people tell you to live in the moment, what does that mean?

I wrote these words moments ago – maybe days, weeks, years, or more. I’ll take moments to read these words again, in the future sometime, someday, somewhere, somehow.

But this is the moment we connect, and this is a moment that’s yours. It’s only yours and something you’ll always have.

Time travel is nothing more than gluing together every moment you’ve experienced, have, and create. That enables you to fly back and forth between the moments of the life you stitch together.

These moments are your stories and your stories are your truth.

The future is your very own tree to cultivate, nurture, and care for.

Fridge Creation Courtesy of Chef Eddie Wilson

The Heart of a Nation Needs a Moment

Unloved and over labeled, Americans have become tough critics, to say the least.

“I don’t like anything I don’t understand and if I’m uncomfortable, it must be wrong and avoided.” – Americans, everyday.

Conditioned for Life

Communication is natural and it’s never a bad thing. It can be dangerous, misused, painful, even deadly. Communication is the most powerful skill each of us possess, but we need more of it – a lot more.

Humans improve by learning from actions of others, not judging others and their actions. Mouths need vacations and ears should work overtime, but nobody gets paid to listen.

It’s that simple. Truth is a common casualty when perception is reality.

One is the Loneliest Number

I had never before felt the depths of loneliness quite like how lonely I felt throughout the process of becoming a writer.

As soon as you begin to appreciate your time on this Earth, your moments become more and more monumental to your own existence.

Buckle up, kids! Life slips ahead of you the more consciously aware you become of yourself and your surroundings.

That includes all of the people in your life, the crap you read, things you do, and how you treat others.

Time flies.

Brrr! It’s 69 degrees outside!

Americans – along with every earthling – have a lot of problems. However, I’m American; I’ve only ever lived in America, and 100% of the low points in my life are due to – clutch your pearls – Americans!

Americans have a unique ability to label anyone, even if they’ve done nothing wrong.

Did I just label Americans? See? I told you we're good at it.

America has cornered the market of casting judgment.That’s the biggest problem facing this country, but it doesn’t end there.

This affects everyone in the world

Americans comprise only 5% of the world population. Let that sink in. The obvious becomes obvious after it's obvious, not before. Otherwise, it isn't obvious.

People in the U.S. are armchair quarterbacks of everything that has nothing to do with themselves. As a result, we’re experts in retrospect, and judging one another.

We aren’t experts over each other, but we like to think we are.

Giving advice to others about what they should, could, or would have done isn’t a problem for empaths or experts who’ve learned life lessons through experience ahead of hindsight.

You can thank your government for the mental conditions preventing the  productivity of its citizens.

Be your own quarterback or go play for the Packers. In Green Bay, you don’t have to ~~coach~~ play well (with others) to be paid well.

From Now On

Since life is a product of my own creation, I want to surround myself with the shit I create.

I wake up everyday in my personal episode of Black Mirror. I navigate a reality that is real to me. At the same time, reality isn’t always the truth.

The truth always rises to the surface if you seek it. Albeit eventually; despite every real attempt to distort it. Word of caution, you’re not always going to like what you hear, and I’m not here to tell you how to deal with that. I have other shit to do. On that note…

Label Me Silly

So go ahead, slap a label on me. Label me until your heart’s content. Label the shit out of me.

Let me know how that works out. Just kidding, I already know. Not in my world. Please remit payment to…

Secret, secret, I've got a secret. I am the modern man with access to too much technology. My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain...IBM. Thank you, Styx!

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All the President’s Women and Men (and others in Between)

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The White House is Now the Outhouse

The White House is basically an outhouse. I’m not sure whether or not it has a door, or if it’s been tipped over like a cow.

I don’t know who’s responsible for cleaning that shit, but you don’t need a nose on your face to smell the shit coming from Washington D.C.

The city itself is remarkably beautiful. It’s like a pristine toilet with an unlimited capacity to deal with unsurmountable shit; day-in, day-out.

They lit a candle and weren't careful. The new outhouse is plastic and plastic melts.

Guess where it was made. Do you know what else is manufactured in China? Here’s a hint: the U.S. Government.

The answer is: Toilets. Toilets are made in China. The U.S. Government was only a hint.

I assume China makes more than engines and generators for Kohler while stealing Intellectual Property from all over the globe.

Words matter.

Trump and Pence are D.C. Toilet Paper

That’s what they are, and that’s what they’ve always been. The fix was in and the strings were strummed.

The Electoral College bestowed The White House with one, giant, and seemingly unlimited supply of Trump/Pence.

The usual brands in the ass-wipe industry nearly buried the world in butt crumbs.

Same shit, different day, week, month, year, Christmas.

“I can’t tell you what it really is; I can only tell you what it feels like.” – Love the Way You Lie; Eminem (feat. Rhianna)

Just Gonna Stand there and Watch me Burn

When it comes to history, I was as brainwashed as anyone. I used to swallow America’s shovel-ready bullshit – hook, line, and sinker.

I was 38 at the time, but the seeds had been planted my entire life. Also, Obama was president, and the company that I co-founded in 1999, et alia, llc., hadn’t started its rapid nosedive…yet.

On April 30, 2014, the U.S. Government - my government - sanctioned and observed the fraudulent sale of et alia, llc. - along with its intellectual property and trade secrets - to Kiewit Technology, Inc. On May 22, 2014, Kiewit Technology, Inc. announced it would operate under a new name: InEight, Inc.

It was still one year before, out of desperation, we offered two members of our executive team to invest in 8%.

We were bleeding cash like a slashed throat.

Is that blood in the Shark Tank?

Let’s call them “T” and “D”.

“T” and “D” were each offered 8%. While “D” passed on the offer, “T” actually dropped $160,000 cash for 8% of et alia. In fact, “T” inquired as to whether or not he could purchase the 8% “D” turned down. He wasn’t extended that offer.

That would have given him more equity than I had as co-founder!

Long story short, “T” lost money on his investment.

Weird, huh?

I get it now. I felt bad about it until I didn't. The guy wasn't exactly Shark Tank material. That's a whole other story.

Hindsight

False Flag on the Field

Do you believe that U.S. voters elected Donald Trump? I don’t and I never did. It’s simply not true. It’s impossible – not in America – not in this lifetime.

However, the results had to be believable, so a bunch of behind-the-scenes shit went down, worldwide, in every major industry. It feels eerily similar to The Purge. Only, this one doesn't have a title - yet. Maybe it does, I don't know. I know what I'd call it.

Besides, we don’t elect our president, we vote for our president.

The Electoral College elected Trump on December 19, 2016.

Good lord, America. What have you gotten yourselves into?

Federal and state governments dropped a bunch of balls in the worst ways. The balls busted like eggs – even though government balls are significantly smaller than below average nuts.

At what point did you begin to read between the lines? Was it before or after the day the world turned upside down?

Thank You, Politicians of America!

Once again, you’re the drunk uncle crossing the line at a family holiday gathering.

It’s always the same with you: Blame everyone who isn’t you for everyone’s misery, including your own.

Uncle Sam, what did you do to Aunt Samantha?

I can’t imagine how it feels to be you – nor do I want to. It looks as though you lost control of the narrative, and that sucks. Don’t call me when you lose control of your life.

By nature, politicians have an unusually high risk of becoming morons.

The past is playing out in front of our eyes and curious minds. Let’s rewind to July 5, 2016.

The director of the FBI, James Comey, recommended no charges against Hillary Clinton regarding the investigation of her using a private email server.

Democrats cheered while Republicans jeered. Comey was a hero! Or was he?

Fast forward to October 28, 2016, when Comey made another announcement. He divulged discovering a of trove of never before seen emails, effectively throwing Ms. Clinton back into the frying pan.

Republicans cheered while Democrats jeered. Comey was a hero! Or was he?

Who the fuck are these people? Do they really believe American’s are this fucking stupid? I mean, I’m American, but I’m not an American idiot.

On November 9, 2016, as people woke up, their heads exploded one way or another.

Americans were left to their own devices to process what the fuck just happened. Since then, nothing’s been natural. Everything coming out of D.C. is contrived.

The truth is in the metaphor, and the metaphor is a lie – a bigly BIG LIE.

Apparently, it’s required to be out of the know to know anything.

You can bet your bottom ~~Deutsch Bank~~ dollar this is a planned rollout of events. It’s a plan that’s been in place since well before the turn of the century, and that went off script further than anyone ever imagined – until now.

Nothing made sense, but the point of the great American shit show wasn't to make sense. Since its inception, the Super Gay American Nightmare was to make billions and trillions of dollars and cents without making sense.

Politicians have been full of shit for centuries, but we underestimated the amount of shit contaminating the only “Plan It” Earth we have.

That PIE sounds yummy, who wants a piece?

Look What You Made Me Do

Politics are private-label platform misunderstandings, between two party platforms, and that shit’s about to rip.

A special note to all members of the incoming 116th United States Congress set to start on January 3, 2019

Make no mistake, now is not a good time for any politician in America. You’re about to become part of an historic legacy of why we can’t have nice things.

I hope that’s not the case. We will learn whether or not the government shutdown tomorrow means good news or bad news for you.

In order to be a patriot, you have to care about the people living here. Every last one of them. No exceptions. That is not negotiable.

Just because I don’t have your attention doesn’t mean you don’t have mine.

In the end, you don’t want it to be something you didn’t do. It might be too late for some of you.

Ground Control to Major Tom

On May 9, 2017, President Trump fired James Comey. The heads of republicans and democrats (or whatever was left of them) collectively exploded – again!

What happened?

Mueller? Mueller?

The 115th U.S. Congress has some unfinished business, no?

Tell me I’m wrong.

Comey? Lynch? Ryan? Pelosi? Graham? Schumer? Obama? Clinton? Do any of you have anything to add? How about Bruce Grewcock at Kiewit? Are you familiar with him? Or Bill McDermott from SAP SE?

Facts related to Kiewit:

My co-founding partner and I scheduled a call for July 7, 2015 with Kiewit attorneys Mary Carnazzo and Jeremy Stewart.

On that call, we made the accusation that the purchase of et alia was fraudulent.

Within 24 hours, Jeremy notified both of us that they investigated our assertions and denied any malfeasance regarding the purchase of et alia.

It only took Kiewit 24-hours to investigate fraud, but the HR allegations we made in April, 2015 took over two months to tell us they did nothing wrong.

At the end of April, 2015, I met with Jill Thomsen. According to her business card, she was Kiewit’s Director of Government Relations.

According to Jill, she was Kiewit’s Director of Human Resources, a new position and she didn’t have business cards.

Bullshit.

At that time, Jill encouraged me to file a complaint with the EEOC. By June, Jill told me the EEOC would “laugh” me out of their office.

My co-founding partner filed a case with the EEOC later that year.

Hi, Jill. What changed? I know you know I know. Let me ask you, is there anything you want to say on your own behalf? Or can you?

I’m not breaking any confidentiality agreement right now.

It must have sucked when you failed to trick me into signing that piece of garbage.

I can't imagine anyone at Kiewit is excited for this story to come out.

What’s the difference between William and Bill?

Bill McDermott sat next to President Trump in Davos in early 2018, while Trump told the world the United States would “no longer turn a blind eye” to unfair trade practices.

Another fact: On July 9, 2015 – just two days after Brad and I spoke with the Kiewit attorneys – Bill McDermott suffered an injury. Ultimately, the injury cost him an eye.

I don’t know why these people would start telling the truth right now. Even a plea deal couldn’t stop Paul Manafort from lying through his teeth.

This country is on thin ice or deep shit – one of the two. Either way, we don’t need any more TP, we need and entirely new house. This isn’t as easy as remodeling a bathroom and it’s a little harder than leasing plastic pods to poop in.

Mr. President, is there anything you want to tell us?

Now You Know

The only climate not changing is political. Jupiter’s Great Red Spot is almost the perfect metaphor for U.S. politics. The difference being that Jupiter’s storm is shrinking.

Looks like there’s intelligent life out there after all.

Earth, however, continues pig-roasting its way around the Sun.

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