People got too comfortable playing the game. Picking up where The "Conversation" Game left off...
A lot of what I’ve learned about my life and the world around it makes me uncomfortable.
It makes me happy, sad, elated and doomed – truly doomed– all at once.
It takes us nine months to breathe on our own, but our time on earth is the real womb.
Everyday I learn to adapt, a little more, than the day before. Honestly, that’s all that matters to me.
Life beat the hell out of me before my attempt at beating the hell out of life. Living a life out of hell is worth fighting for.
Hell has no place in my life – inside and out. Real hell.
So here we are, beating the hell out of each other because life and I have a common goal.
My emotions don’t come one by one, they arrive in bundles. Like high speed internet, cable TV, and phone service, the price is too high to start separating my feelings.
If I’ve learned anything on my writing journey it’s that.
The demons are doing jumping jacks now.
Be the Real Deal
Embrace emotions as they happen no matter what they are.
Feel your moments. Every last one of them.
Live like you were born in an arena. For all intents and purposes, you were. If you were born in America, that’s what this is.
You’ll be shocked how far long ago this was set in motion. More time ago than you can imagine.
For now, let's call them years.
Thunderstruck!
Today, I realize how responsible I actually was as a kid. I’ve managed to justify my earlier existence. That’s the “C” student in me.
It's about damn time! I took that believing children are the future shit seriously.
I discovered a voice and, as a kid, I considered a typewriter a toy.
The Creative Guide
I attribute my evolution to having an open mind and heart.
I remind myself of this simple fact at every turn in this crazy reality.
That’s the only way I successfully began understanding the strange world in which I exist.
There’s only so much timebefore the thoughts behind this smirk are buried in forever.
Luckily, that's not the direction this is going.
Travis Garrod, Devilish Smirk
The stars aligned. Or not. The planets did. Or didn’t. Whatever it is, it feels like fireworks. Some days. Maybe.
I don’t know.
Moving on.
I feel like I’m crawling out of a steaming pile of extraordinarily colorful crap ashes.
Is it coincidence the Trump conclusion coincides with the final episodes of Game of Thrones which wraps on May 19, 2019 just ahead of the June 7, 2019 Dark Phoenix rise release?
And Sansa Stark stars in both?
Come on!
I’m merely a goose among geese, in a world searching for unicorns.
Here’s one thing we all have in common.We wake up, everyday. What happens next is anyone’s guess and, quite frankly, nobody’s business.
The difference between any of us is how aware we areof how we act.
The Daily Dog Walk
I’ve had dogs since 1999. My first two dogs were siblings. I’m on my third, and she has a brother. He belongs to a friend of mine so, by proxy, there’s a fourth.
Throughout the past 20 years of my life, dog walks have been a constant.
Dog walks are woven into the fabric of my daily life.
Everyday, no matter what I do, I take my dog on two, 45-minute walks, mixed with some fetch.
There are rarely circumstances that prevent that from happening.
Morning Routine
I wake up everyday around 7:30 a.m. I don’t set my alarm and lately I’ve been waking up earlier.
The first thing I do is make coffee, then I pop into my home office. I turn on the lights, open the blinds, and pick up where I left off the day before.
That’s how I “clock in.”
Home Office
I still have my old desk from the et alia days so there’s a familiar comfort when I sit down to work. On the surface, it’s not a bad gig.
Fact is, anyone can work from home. The problem is making moneyfrom home.
Never under estimate your ability to impact the lives of others.
Then, I do whatever I do all day.
The Road to Writing
I’ve always talked about being a writer, but I never wrote – nothing personal at least. That was a huge obstacle for me in the beginning – deciding what to say, what opinions to share, which vulnerabilities to expose, and most importantly, why.
I’ve written corporate communications throughout my life, but that’s a little different.
At age 40, the right set of awkward situations left me no choice but to explore being a writer for myself.
The circumstances were hard, but the decision was easy.
I didn’t know where the road was, much less where it led. I’m still unsure where it leads.
The reasons why I write, constantly evolve. My enthusiasm for writing ebbs and flows, but my commitment never wanes. To me, that’s an indicator I’m on the right path.
The time was now and four years later, now is still the time.
Aside from writing, every other option felt like surrender, like I gave up on life. Giving up was never an option. Lord knows, I’ve spent plenty of time thinking about it.
Nothing clears your conscience like hitting rock bottom.
I always return to the same spot: No, dumbass, this is what you’re meant to do. Of course it’s hard work, what’d you expect?
Say what you want about hobbies, but this one’s extremely fulfilling, and fulfillment is one of my main motivators. My daily goals evolve with the weather, but my long term goals feel closer than ever.
I live in a desert. Mirages are a problem, or even worse, an oasis.
Nobody rolls their eyes harder at me than myself.
I didn’t make this. I don’t know where it came from.
At some point, everything clicks. It can happen with or without a Bible.
Ladies and gentlemen, that’s how Devilish Smirk came to be.
Dog Walk
By 9:00 a.m. my dog wants to eat. I turn on The Price is Right. That show takes me to a comfortable place I remember as a child.
I listen to it in the background and I’m usually walking my dog before the Showcase Showdown.
That part of the show always bored me.
That’s how I know I’m on track for the day.
Dog Talk
The connection we have with our dogs feels like some sort of magic. Underneath the blue Arizona sky, I’m locked and loaded into the power of collective imagination.
The future I see is brighter than ever. The sky is the limit and, as far as I know, Earth doesn’t have a glass atmosphere.
Whether or not it happens is up to me. That doesn’t mean it’s colorful, bright, and pretty every damn day.
Dead or alive, you are guaranteed a legacy fully directed by the actions you choose.
This kid is reaching for the stars.
Family Dogs
My grandparents already had a dog when I was born. When I was three, my dad brought Rusty home.
Spiro
Spiro was my grandparent’s dog. He was always around, until he wasn’t. I was seven or eight when he died. I remember melting down.
It was one of my first experiences with death, next to my babysitter’s parakeet; something going away to a different place. In real life. And they had him cremated.
And this was supposed to happen to people too? It didn’t make sense. Not nearly as much sense as it makes today.
Still, it’s never a great topic.
Both Denver and Marco were cremated.
Rusty
Rusty was a Chesapeake Bay Retriever. He loved to hunt; that was his purpose. My dad is a hunter and Rusty was his dog. Rusty was a big part of my childhood, but I outgrew my relationship with Rusty because I wasn’t a hunter.
It wasn’t until a “condolences” card arrived from the vet that I even knew he was gone.
Lumi
Lumi’s story is a little more complicated. He was my grandparent’s dog at the end of their lives. My grandma died first, and my grandpa followed two years later. Lumi was by both their sides when they passed.
After grandma passed, grandpa slowly, yet all too quickly, lost his will to live.
What about Lumi?
As part of a deal to keep him out of assisted living, Grandpa agreed the family could make some upgrades to his living situation. So long as he could be home, with his dog, that’s the only thing that mattered to him.
My aunt moved in with him for his last year.
By now, Lumi’s out of control. Grandpa couldn’t adequately care for Lumi, much less himself. Lumi started acting out, and regularly peed inside.
Upon replacing the carpet, it was clear that Lumi pissed everywhere, at some point, all over the house.
Lumi was cute, he was a Dachshund. He was not well behaved and never listened. He wasn’t trained any more than two elderly folks can train a dog.
He wasn’t neutered. He had huge nuts and would bite the toes or hump the ankles of anyone seated at the dinner table.
During the process of preparing the house for sale, Lumi was adopted into a new forever home
My Dogs
I’ve written some things about the dogs I’ve had as an adult.
All I know is this; whenever I’m down I stare into my dog’s eyes and everything, for that moment, fades to black, and I feel loved.
There are two types of people in the world. Dogs and cats.
We sniff out shit, smelling and licking each others’ butts along the way. Eventually, we encounter people who send shivers down our spines. Then we react. Instinctually.
I kid you not. Three little girls just explained this to me on my walk this afternoon. Dogs like to lick each others' butts, but not before they lick their own. Oh Scottsdale.
I didn’t ask God for a butthole metaphor when I went on my walk this morning, but he gave me one anyway.
God does what God wants, and I’m not one to argue.
Inspiration can be found in anything – if you look for it.
Life’s an internal journey. Things always get worse before they get better. The “better” part takes forever. Regardless of how long it takes to feel better, everyone can be better than they were yesterday.
Humans could stand to learn something about unconditional love from dogs. Dogs can be as fucked up as people, have anxiety, PTSD, or been abused. Yet somehow, when they’re loved, dogs love back, unequivocally and tenfold.
Imagine what humanity could do with the power of love.
Do all dogs go to heaven? I believe they do. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say I believe dogs are heaven sent.
Shut up, hippie! Communist socialist liberal scumbag! You've gone off the deep end! Fraud!
Dogs 1, Humans 0
The only reason I don’t have a cat is that I’m allergic to them. Literally, I’m allergic to pussy.
Is it weird that Losing My Religion by R.E.M. just played randomly? I think we're done here.
I don’t know who’s responsible for cleaning that shit, but you don’t need a nose on your face to smell the shit coming from Washington D.C.
The city itself is remarkably beautiful. It’s like a pristine toilet with an unlimited capacity to deal with unsurmountable shit; day-in, day-out.
They lit a candle and weren't careful. Thenew outhouse is plastic and plastic melts.
Guess where it was made. Do you know what else is manufactured in China? Here’s a hint: the U.S. Government.
The answer is: Toilets. Toilets are made in China. The U.S. Government was only a hint.
I assume China makes more than engines and generators for Kohler while stealing Intellectual Property from all over the globe.
Words matter.
Trump and Pence are D.C. Toilet Paper
That’s what they are, and that’s what they’ve always been. The fix was in and the strings were strummed.
The Electoral College bestowed The White House with one, giant, and seemingly unlimited supply of Trump/Pence.
The usual brands in the ass-wipe industry nearly buried the world in butt crumbs.
Same shit, different day, week, month, year, Christmas.
“I can’t tell you what it really is; I can only tell you what it feels like.” – Love the Way You Lie; Eminem (feat. Rhianna)
Just Gonna Stand there and Watch me Burn
When it comes to history, I was as brainwashed as anyone. I used to swallow America’s shovel-ready bullshit – hook, line, and sinker.
I was 38 at the time, but the seeds had been planted my entire life. Also, Obama was president, and the company that I co-founded in 1999, et alia, llc., hadn’t started its rapid nosedive…yet.
On April 30, 2014, the U.S. Government - my government - sanctioned and observed the fraudulent sale of et alia, llc. - along with its intellectual property and trade secrets - to Kiewit Technology, Inc. On May 22, 2014, Kiewit Technology, Inc. announced it would operate under a new name: InEight, Inc.
It was still one year before, out of desperation, we offered two members of our executive team to invest in 8%.
We were bleeding cash like a slashed throat.
Is that blood in the Shark Tank?
Let’s call them “T” and “D”.
“T” and “D” were each offered 8%. While “D” passed on the offer, “T” actually dropped $160,000 cash for 8% of et alia. In fact, “T” inquired as to whether or not he could purchase the 8% “D” turned down. He wasn’t extended that offer.
That would have given him more equity than I had as co-founder!
Long story short, “T” lost money on his investment.
Weird, huh?
I get it now. I felt bad about it until I didn't. The guy wasn't exactly Shark Tank material. That's a whole other story.
Hindsight
False Flag on the Field
Do you believe that U.S. voters elected Donald Trump? I don’t and I never did. It’s simply not true. It’s impossible – not in America – not in this lifetime.
However, the results had to be believable, so a bunch of behind-the-scenes shit went down, worldwide, in every major industry. It feels eerily similar to The Purge. Only, this one doesn't have a title - yet. Maybe it does, I don't know. I know what I'd call it.
Besides, we don’t elect our president, we vote for our president.
The Electoral College elected Trump on December 19, 2016.
Good lord, America. What have you gotten yourselves into?
Federal and state governments dropped a bunch of balls in the worst ways. The balls busted like eggs – even though government balls are significantly smaller than below average nuts.
At what point did you begin to read between the lines? Was it before or after the day the world turned upside down?
Thank You, Politicians of America!
Once again, you’re the drunk uncle crossing the line at a family holiday gathering.
It’s always the same with you: Blame everyone who isn’t you for everyone’s misery, including your own.
Uncle Sam, what did you do to Aunt Samantha?
I can’t imagine how it feels to be you – nor do I want to. It looks as though you lost control of the narrative, and that sucks. Don’t call me when you lose control of your life.
By nature, politicians have an unusually high risk of becoming morons.
The past is playing out in front of our eyes and curious minds. Let’s rewind to July 5, 2016.
The director of the FBI, James Comey, recommended no charges against Hillary Clinton regarding the investigation of her using a private email server.
Democrats cheered while Republicans jeered. Comey was a hero! Or was he?
Fast forward to October 28, 2016, when Comey made another announcement. He divulged discovering a of trove of never before seen emails, effectively throwing Ms. Clinton back into the frying pan.
Republicans cheered while Democrats jeered. Comey was a hero! Or was he?
Who the fuck are these people? Do they really believe American’s are this fucking stupid? I mean, I’m American, but I’m not an American idiot.
On November 9, 2016, as people woke up, their heads exploded one way or another.
Americans were left to their own devices to process what the fuck just happened. Since then, nothing’s been natural. Everything coming out of D.C. is contrived.
The truth is in the metaphor, and the metaphor is a lie – a bigly BIG LIE.
Apparently, it’s required to be out of the know to know anything.
You can bet your bottom Deutsch Bank dollar this is a planned rollout of events. It’s a plan that’s been in place since well before the turn of the century, and that went off script further than anyone ever imagined – until now.
Nothing made sense, but the point of the great American shit show wasn't to make sense. Since its inception, the Super Gay American Nightmare was to make billions and trillions of dollars and cents without making sense.
Politicians have been full of shit for centuries, but we underestimated the amount of shit contaminating the only “Plan It” Earth we have.
That PIE sounds yummy, who wants a piece?
Look What You Made Me Do
Politics are private-label platform misunderstandings, between two party platforms, and that shit’s about to rip.
A special note to all members of the incoming 116th United States Congress set to start on January 3, 2019
Make no mistake, now isnot a good time for any politician in America. You’re about to become part of an historic legacy of why we can’t have nice things.
I hope that’s not the case. We will learn whether or not the government shutdown tomorrow means good news or bad news for you.
In order to be a patriot, you have to care about the people living here. Every last one of them. No exceptions. That is not negotiable.
Just because I don’t have your attention doesn’t mean you don’t have mine.
In the end, you don’t want it to be something you didn’t do. It might be too late for some of you.
Ground Control to Major Tom
On May 9, 2017, President Trump fired James Comey. The heads of republicans and democrats (or whatever was left of them) collectively exploded – again!
What happened?
Mueller? Mueller?
The 115th U.S. Congress has some unfinished business, no?
Tell me I’m wrong.
Comey? Lynch? Ryan? Pelosi? Graham? Schumer? Obama? Clinton? Do any of you have anything to add? How about Bruce Grewcock at Kiewit? Are you familiar with him? Or Bill McDermott from SAP SE?
Facts related to Kiewit:
My co-founding partner and I scheduled a call for July 7, 2015 with Kiewit attorneys Mary Carnazzo and Jeremy Stewart.
On that call, we made the accusation that the purchase of et alia was fraudulent.
Within 24 hours, Jeremy notified both of us that they investigated our assertions and denied any malfeasance regarding the purchase of et alia.
It only took Kiewit 24-hours to investigate fraud, but the HR allegations we made in April, 2015 took over two months to tell us they did nothing wrong.
At the end of April, 2015, I met with Jill Thomsen. According to her business card, she was Kiewit’s Director of Government Relations.
According to Jill, she was Kiewit’s Director of Human Resources, a new position and she didn’t have business cards.
Bullshit.
At that time, Jill encouraged me to file a complaint with the EEOC. By June, Jill told me the EEOC would “laugh” me out of their office.
My co-founding partner filed a case with the EEOC later that year.
Hi, Jill. What changed? I know you know I know. Let me ask you, is there anything you want to say on your own behalf? Or can you?
I’m not breaking any confidentiality agreement right now.
It must have sucked when you failed to trick me into signing that piece of garbage.
I can't imagine anyone at Kiewit is excited for this story to come out.
What’s the difference between William and Bill?
Source: Handelsblatt Global
Bill McDermott sat next to President Trump in Davos in early 2018, while Trump told the world the United States would “no longer turn a blind eye” to unfair trade practices.
Another fact: On July 9, 2015 – just two days after Brad and I spoke with the Kiewit attorneys – Bill McDermott suffered an injury. Ultimately, the injury cost him an eye.
I don’t know why these people would start telling the truth right now. Even a plea deal couldn’t stop Paul Manafort from lying through his teeth.
This country is on thin ice or deep shit – one of the two. Either way, we don’t need any more TP, we need and entirely new house. This isn’t as easy as remodeling a bathroom and it’s a little harder than leasing plastic pods to poop in.
Mr. President, is there anything you want to tell us?
Now You Know
The only climate not changing is political. Jupiter’s Great Red Spot is almost the perfect metaphor for U.S. politics. The difference being that Jupiter’s storm is shrinking.
Looks like there’s intelligent life out there after all.
Earth, however, continues pig-roasting its way around the Sun.
What you’re about to read is not about God. It’s about the nation he’s above. It’s about the United States of America– a country I love and the country I’m from – the country that boldly declares In God We Trust on its currency and the people who prioritize money above human life.
They will have a hard time keeping pace with how this is about to unfold.
Home of the brave, indeed.
Good morning, America! More on moron money in a minute.
I’ve been in a growing state of confusion for the better part of six years. The words regularly penetrating me these days are ongoing and mind blowing.
Look out, folks. I need a shot before I continue. This will be uncomfortable for some awful people.
By the way, my relationship with Milagro involves only a shot glass.
Lordy, Lordy Look Who’s 40
I turned 40 less than a month after moving to Scottsdale. I never imagined how drastically different my life would become today.
It’s a fucking mess, but in the most glorious way.
On September 13, 2018, I’ll have served a four-year term in Arizona.
It happened when it would create an everlasting impact.
I’m not the only one whose life completely realigned itself.
I’m still perplexed, but I feel incredibly blessed, beyond measure, and anyone who knows me understands how weird that statement sounds coming from me.
I deserve another shot. This one’s a double.
America’s Multiple Reality Disorder
Multiple realities are what make life worth living. This is a country where only 5% of the world calls home. We are the world’s melting pot. There’s no country more diverse than America which gives America the biggest opportunity.
In God We Trust
There’s a difference between having life and being alive.
There’s no purpose in having, but there is purpose in being. Not all humans are human beings. At the end of the day there are two ways to go. You either die feeling miserable or depart fulfilled, feeling upgraded to a level of love I cannot wait to see.
For now, I’m going to have to deal with just feeling the love, which isn’t a bad penalty box. I’ll be back in the game soon enough. I needed the rest anyway.
There are plenty of people who never thought this much truth would ever surface. Then again, those people aren’t very smart, and I no longer surround myself with people who bury the truth under layers of deception so easily. That’s not what a human being does.
Being a human being is never easy. Shit, hooking up on Scruff isn’t easy.
Circling Back to Trusting God with Money
Earn it honestly. Don’t steal it and don’t take bribes. I don’t recommend accepting anything stamped with God for bad things. But, I don’t care either way. You do you and it looks like you’re happy doing it and that’s great. Keep going down that path.
In God We Trust
God is everything. God is even the Devil. Think about that for a second.
Be careful, money is a double-edged sword and it’s sharp. By itself, money isn’t the root of all evil; it’s the loveof money that will ruin your life and the lives around you.
Money is more addictive than any drug you can inject. It’s especially dangerous because your friends love its scent. It smells better than a kilo of coke and they know when you can’t afford them anymore.
Cash Strapped Trust
If you don’t know what’s going on by now, I don’t know what to Tonya.
Everyone had every opportunity to practice their blindfolded triple consecutive quad axels, coupled with kickboxing and creativity, in time for crowbar season.
Crowbars are basically bats. It doesn’t matter whether it has wings and rabies, or made of wood, both are bad news. You won’t know what hit you anyway, and it doesn’t matter. That’s the least of the problems you can’t solve.
In God We Trust
Money is a magnet for greed and a tool used to manipulate the actions of others. It’s a criminal’s temptation and fuels corruption.
Money dehumanizes us because everyone needs it to survive. It’s one of an infinite temptation we encounter every day.
What will you do for money?
“Keep your relationship with God to yourself and I promise I won’t thump you over the head with a giant dildo in casual passing.” Author Unknown
Simply Awesome Pest Control
No more bets.
America has never had a more easily guided walk, at the speed of baby steps, consciously coupled with the slowest, most repetitive, slide show of bullshit ever imagined.” Author unknown as far as I Know.
The risk of playing with fire is that most people aren’t smart enough to know they’re dancing in the flames.
Rectal Dysfunction
You’re in deep shit if your head is still up your ass. An occasional brain fart doesn’t cut the cheese.
It’s time to shit your brains out. The clock is ticking.
Lt. Dan had legs for days; he just didn’t know how many days.
Money Didn’t Sight Light! Holy Crap!
Since last July, the term “blind trust” has become a common theme and grounding reminder between me and a special friend.
Creativity, music, muses, mistakes, curiosity, compassion, and truth – which takes the longest to expose – are my personal development tools.
Having friends with mutual respect doesn’t harm the process, but introduces a whole new level of disappointment and hurt, that makes you stronger if you’re an adult who can admit mistakes.
Does time heal all wounds? Here’s a hint. No. Time eases pain, but pharmacies don’t sell it.
Ok, I’m taking my dog to the park so I need to wrap this up.
Remain committed to yourself and be loyal enough to be trusted. “Blind Trust” is scary, but it’s the best feeling when it was the right decision even though it’s the most vulnerable feeling.
Now, where did I put that tequila? Three shots this time! I feel like I just bowled a 300. A boy can dream!
My dog is officially my co-pirate. After spending the summer studying abroad, Bella became Bellz. She graduated and she’s not even two! She’s an overachiever.
I don’t know where she gets it. It wasn’t from me; I was a “C” student.
Congratulations, Bellz! You done good, girl!
I nearly dropped out of college, and not because I didn’t want to be there. I was told I was wasting my time, money, and other things, but I only flunked one class.
Kidding aside, she’s German and Germans make great dogs, and other good shit.
Leave it to Germany to engineer something better than people.
In Dog We Trust
Dogs have an unwavering commitment to loyalty and love. Imagine that you were born into a world filled with unconditional love, encouragement, compassion, and curiosity.
What if I told youthat you were already born into that world?
It’s hard to believe, but what if it’s true?
What if you discoveredthat you were already born into that world?
See, what had happened was…I couldn’t see what I didn’t believe.
Seeing is believing, but I had to believe to see.
I saw, then believed, but I can’t believe my eyes!
I see you!
We have an uncanny ability to complicate the simplest things.
You’ve either figured it out or you haven’t. You will or you won’t. You do or you don’t.
That’s a joke. Not really. Seriously though, it is. Just kidding. What?
Polly Wanna Cracker?
Referring to dogs as children is automatic, like when someone says they’re “fine” when nobody asked how they were.
Think of it this way:
Americans tend to be parrots. Parrots sit on the shoulders of pirates. If Americans are parrots, then Americans are co-pirates. Being a co-pirate requires at least two pirates. If Americans have a dog, then Americans and dogs are co-pirates.
Any questions? Polly wanna cracker?
It’s basic logic, but Americans aren’t known for being logical. Ask any lawyer. They’ll tell you the truth.
Words Matter
If it pleases the court, I would like to submit evidence that pets are not children.
Nobody gives birth to their dog. Dogs aren’t a result of any sex you had. If you carry a dog for nine months, it’s in a purse.
Dogs happen on purpose. The decision to have a dog is exactly that; a decision. Having a kid requires sex and a choice.
People don’t usually update social media while walking out of an abortion clinic.
Dogs don’t have allergies.Nobody gives up a child because their dog has allergies.
Dog gone!
Dogs don’t hate you. Dogs do the darnedest things. They shit inside, piss on stuff, destroy something or make a mess. Kids talk.
A child will tell you they wish they were never born.
You can’t cage a child. Try that with a toddler. A crib is as close as you get.
Children can have children. Dogs get fixed. Fixed. What a strange word for never reproducing again.
Words Matter
Chaos & Piss
If we continue allowing pet owners to refer to their animals as children, where does it end?
Before you know it, parents will treat their kids like pets and allow them to shit outside. Animals will begin using restrooms, and we can’t even figure out which restroom people should use.
What the fuck? Maybe we should all shit outside.
Why not? We act like animals.
Final Thought
It’s acceptable to euthanize pets.People aren’t so lucky. If I’m ever in a situation where I’m unresponsive and I can’t, won’t, or forget to swallow pudding, I truly won’t mind a lethal dose of anesthesia.
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