Creative & Inspiring Archives

Welcome to 2022!

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A Matter of Time

The tail end of 2021 hit me like a ton of bricks, but in the best possible way. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more of a feeling being, and my outlook on life is better for it.

It wasn’t until I was in my forties when I began to break down in tears about things that I may not have given a second thought to in my younger years.

Not that I've never broken down and cried before, but the more it happened, the more I embraced those emotions and allowed myself to feel things more frequently.

A good cry is as cathartic as it gets, and not all cries come from a place of pain or sadness.

The latter half of December, I had a lot of time to think, reflect, and introspect. By the end, I realized that 2021 was one of the best years that I’ve had in a very long time, and it was about time.

Overall, I’m a pretty optimistic person.

Lord knows, it’s hard to be optimistic much of the time, but I love a challenge.

Sure, I have bad days. Who doesn’t? It’s natural, and that’s okay.

Without the lows, you'll never appreciate the highs. That's just how it works, and that shit takes time.

Uncomfortable situations are the soil from which we learn, improve, adapt, and grow. Good or bad, everything we experience is for the benefit of our personal development. And then you die.

Some days, my mind can get the best of me. What can I say? There's a 47-year-old storm swirling around in there that could make Jupiter's look like child's play.

What’s Your Vibe?

I make a conscious effort to bring good energy to every encounter I have.

That’s important to me, especially as I get older.

That means bringing that same energy to my personal party of one.

Sometimes you need to dig for the gold.

In December, I had time to recognize and acknowledge exactly how transformative 2021 was for me.

I allowed myself to feel proud of how hard I worked on three important pillars of stability – work, exercise, and mental health.

My typical year-end reflections focus on what I’m going to do differently in the next year. But 2021 was different.

I don’t need to do things differently in 2022. Instead, my focus is how to keep the momentum going.

Life is about how you react and respond to any given situation, so behave accordingly.

I feel, very deeply, that we are part of something bigger; that there is actual purpose in our being, and we’re all somehow connected, continually learning, and constantly evolving.

But why?

You know when you know.

For me, it happened after turning 40.

Not that I became a different person, I just became more accepting of myself and finally fell in love with him too.

That was a process. Worth it. 5 stars.

For some, it may happen earlier – or never happen at all. If you get there, you get there, and it can happen at any phase of life.

You have exactly until you die to become a person you’re proud to be.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

New Year, Same Me

Hey kid! It's been a while! I hope you've been well. I haven't checked in on you lately, but I'm happy you've set aside some time to have this discussion. Carry on, sport!

What’s different about my life today than in December 2020?

Quite frankly, a lot. I have so much to be grateful for, and for that I am grateful.

Work

In December 2020, I was on a 10-week seasonal contract and getting nowhere fast on a job hunt.

In March 2021, the company hired me fulltime with full benefits. They put me on a pilot program for an enhanced customer experience for wedding products.

Before the end of the program, they deemed it a success and extended it indefinitely. Our team has more than doubled in size, and the company is doing extremely well.

It has been an absolutely fantastic experience, and I couldn’t ask for a better team of people to work with on a daily basis.

I'm really proud of what this team has accomplished and I'm very happy to have this experience under my belt.

Exercise & Physical Health

In December 2020, exercise wasn’t a thing and not at all a priority.

I was 46 and I didn’t work out, nor did I care about diet. I was 225 pounds with a biological history of high blood pressure and diabetes, and I hadn’t been to a doctor since I left Milwaukee in 2014.

Here's the 2019 goal I set, but finally accomplished in 2021. It only took two years, but that doesn't matter. I did it, and that's what matters.

In April 2021, I began assembling a home gym and finally realized the true benefit of seeing personal trainers nearly a decade ago.

My January 2, 2022, weigh-in was 189.1.

With the job stabilized along with health insurance, I’ve gotten myself situated with a doctor and the medical care that I needed but neglected for so long.

Mental Health

By December 2020, I had gotten a little too comfortable isolating myself at home.

It’s impossible to ignore the mental benefits that come with loving your job, consistent exercise, and the peace of mind only bloodwork and prescriptions can provide.

My stress level is low, my confidence is high, I've met some really great new friends in the past year, and I'm genuinely proud of myself. Fact is, I feel fantastic.

I even dabbled in dating in 2021, which I hadn’t done since becoming single in 2016. What I can tell you is that my heart works which, honestly, was a relief to discover. To be frank, I kind of felt a little dead inside.

For me to feel the feelings that I actually experienced in 2021 was eye opening and reminded me that I am, in fact, still alive.

2021 was a year of lessons. And I paid attention.

You can't swing a dead cat around here without hitting a lesson!

The thing I didn’t do in 2021 was write. Not a single word.

2022 is looking better every fucking day.

From Now On

Great life experiences all depend on timing, circumstance, and the people you encounter. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the past year and I’m committed to continuing this journey throughout 2022 and beyond.

Maybe something magical will happen in 2022. I’m as optimistic as ever. Feel free to join me.

We all have much to learn from each other, almost as if we exist for the purpose of benefiting each other.
All of us.
At all times.
It takes a village.

You get what you give, so give it your all.

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Getting Back on the Workout Wagon

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Down & Out

Even for the most athletically inclined, getting back into an exercise routine after being out of the game for an extended period of time is an obstacle.

In my case, that period of time has been over five years.

Actually writing that feels like failure. It doesn’t feel good to say, or read. That means it’s out there for anyone to see – strangers, family, friends, or otherwise.

It’s like admitting an addiction to complacency and laziness. But that’s the first step in any recovery, and that’s the purpose of this post: Personal accountability to myself.

All we are is how we behave (or respond) in any given moment.

Hi, my name is Travis, and my lazy game is on point!

I say that tongue-in-cheek; I’m not completely sedentary. I have a dog and she requires at least two walks per day. What I’m saying is, it’s been over five years since I’ve gone out of my way to workout.

It’s high time for that to change.

Physical Setback

In February 2014, I ruptured my Achilles tendon while playing volleyball. It happened on a Sunday night. By Wednesday afternoon, I was in surgery.

I had physical therapy, but I haven’t been back to a gym since. It took eight months to not limp anymore.

Mental Setback

Leading up to the injury, I had memberships at two gyms and had two personal trainers. I was in the best shape of my life and that all came crumbling down with one misstep on the court.

Three months later, I moved to Scottsdale and my life was flipped upside down.

I never climbed back on the workout wagon.

Suddenly, it’s 2019 and I’m left wondering, where has the time gone?

A New Goal

Metaphorically speaking, you can’t walk a mile in someone’s shoes until you run a marathon in your own. It just so happens, I’ve run actual marathons. Three, in fact.

I was about to turn 37 when I decided to run my first marathon. I wanted to accomplish something physical; something that required a certain level of discipline with a rigorous training schedule.

Plus I wanted a tangible reminder that I was capable of accomplishing something when I committed to and focused on a goal.

When people finish marathons, they get a medal. A marathon was an obvious choice. I wanted a medal, and I actually have four!

Between November 2010 and October 2011 I ran three full and two half marathons. The first was Seattle in November 2010, then Anchorage in June 2011. The third was Chicago in October 2011. Both half marathons were fit into my training schedules for Anchorage and Seattle.

Note that not all half marathons produce a medal. Plan accordingly.

There is a purpose to this marathon tangent. When I decided to run Seattle, I read an article that suggested to pick a destination, register, and announce your goal to your friends and family. First, you have a vacation on your calendar. Second, you’re committed, and any deviation from your goal results in having to go back on your word.

That’s one hell of a motivator.

A Labor Day to Thanksgiving Journey

That’s what this is; my public commitment to myself. Between now and December, I’m joining a gym and I’m going to milk the hell out of that membership.

Sadly, this commitment involves no vacation. It involves going to a pop-up gym that shares a parking lot with the grocery store I frequent.

Why Now?

I turn 45 in two weeks. On September 13, 2019 I’ll have completed my 45th lap around the Gregorian calendar.

No congratulations or apologies are necessary. That's not a goal I met. It's more of an achievement anyone can accomplish if they live this long.

Earlier this summer, I set a goal to join a gym by September 1. That’s tomorrow. I tried joining today, but discovered a minor set back straight out the gate.

This particular gym has 24 hour access, but not always staffed. It’s Saturday and they were already gone. Then, I noticed it isn’t staffed on Sundays, and Monday is a holiday.

F.M.L.

The Universe is testing my resolve. After five years of no workouts, the day I muster the energy to start, I couldn’t!

All that did was make me more determined than ever. So I wrote this story.

With any luck, come December, I will arrive at a renewed and improved mental space, which is usually the result of a vacation anyway.

That’s my ultimate goal.

Now I’m really looking forward to the challenge.

The benefits I reap are in direct proportion to the effort I give.

Who knows, after this experiment is complete, maybe I'll be back on board to give a marathon at 45 a shot.

Baby steps, Travis. For now let’s try fitting back into those suits you bought when you moved to Scottsdale in 2014.

That, my friends, is how you hold yourself accountable to a goal.

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No Application For This Job

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The Opportunity of a Lifetime

We’re all pioneers of our own unchartered path. We stumble, trip, fall, crawl, bitch, and argue our way through life’s present conditions every day.

Life is a job for which there’s no application. You are your own boss and that’s all you need to be. It’s a position that requires continual personal growth in order to succeed.

Opportunities knock all the time, but it’s not always easy to know which ones to grab. Right or wrong, every opportunity is a chance to learn.

The more we learn, the better we become. Sometimes, being better requires us to feel worse than ever before.

You’re the Boss, Applesauce

You’ll always hold the top spot in your personal business of being alive. It’s a lifelong position for which you were chosen to sit at the helm.

I can’t tell you much about life, but one thing is clear: Life gets infinitely better when you don’t go out of your way to make other people miserable.

Our minds are terribly complex, and they aren’t horribly difficult to use, but we have an uncanny ability to complicate the simplest things.

We should embrace and encourage a free and fair world as if it’s our collective purpose.

Newsflash! That is our collective purpose.

If you’re capable of leading by example, then lead by example. It’s your only job, after all, and you never know whose life you’ll touch.

First, the Good News

All of us have the ability to inspire others. Inspiration is powerful. We see, hear, touch, taste, feel, and draw inspiration from the people we meet and the passions we pursue.

Life is an adventure worth remembering and there’s a lot to miss. Pay attention to everything around you and notice the puzzle pieces hidden in plain sight every day.

Life is a puzzle without borders. No frame will ever contain the full picture, and you have a lifetime to create your masterpiece.

Remember the past, live in the present, and don't be future blind. Envision your future. Dream about your future. Imagine your potential.

Remember to watch your step. Keep your head up and your mouth closed. Look ahead with your eyes open.

Be aware of your surroundings. Listen carefully to others. Think before you speak. Listen deeply for your truth. Recognize opportunities. Know your options. Make decisions. Die another day.

Now, the Bad News

Life is no ordinary puzzle. It isn’t built in a day and takes more than a week. Life can, however, fall the fuck apart in an hour.

A word of caution: The sadistic side of life constantly delivers blows of sadness, anger, pain (and others) that have the ability to break you, but only if you let them.

Generally, we have ideas of what we want and where we’re headed, but it’s not always clear how we’ll get there.

All the while, we’re distracted by self-induced stress (of our own creation) and every other obstacle we cannot control. It’s up to you to know the difference. Detours are inevitable – a lot of them – and it’s easy to get lost.

Everyone gets lost.

It’s not a matter of if, but when. It’s going to happen – if it hasn’t already. When it does, you need to do the finding. Nobody else can do that for you.

Others may support you, but that’s the extent of what they can offer. You’re not their project and they aren’t yours. Care about others, but worry about yourself.

Feeling Alienated?

Communication is the heart of humanity. Bring that to every table when you pull up a chair.

I was pissed off, angry, and pessimistic for a minute. Pessimism has one benefit; it helped me understand how debilitating a bad attitude can be. It didn’t take log to realize I was becoming the type of person who irritates me.

That’s what underrepresented, overlooked, or ignored underdogs eventually realize.

If pessimism got anyone, anywhere, everyone in the world would be on top of the world!

We all have a lot more in common than we think. It just takes a little effort and a few questions, and a willingness to listen and learn.

It pains me when people summarily ignore entire groups – be it age, scene, politics, race, religion, whatever – all because they’re uncomfortable.

Poor things.

Learn to cope with being uncomfortable.

It isn't that hard; we were all twelve at one point.

Heartbreak and hardships are guaranteed in this life, but struggles develop your soul. Pain has a purpose.

Empathy enables us to unite in powerful ways.

Making connections is easier to do when you allow your true self to make first impressions. Anything less is a waste of time.

Show up to your own life and act accordingly.

I’m Feelin’ ’92!

I grew up in Alaska during the culmination of the Cold War. I was born a month after Nixon resigned. By the time I graduated high school, the Berlin Wall was mostly dismantled, and the Soviet Union had collapsed.

Later that year, I began my college experience. Bright eyed and full of hope, my generation was ready to change the world.

Optimism sure is cute until years become decades.

The American Dream halted construction and the crews were sent home.

News, news, words, news, fake news, satire, words, words, Twitter!

Good morning, America! In today’s news, distraction is the main attraction. Now, for our top story, “Politics prove the human capacity for hypocrisy.”

People can develop their most hateful opinions about issues that don’t affect them.

Painful events that remind us that life isn’t fair can be our most valuable teachers. When pain strikes, it’s debilitating, but it’s important to never give up.

Tragic events don’t feel beneficial at the time those events occur, but they help us prioritize what’s important to us, and can often bring clarity.

I’ve done a lot in my life I cannot shout proudly from a mountain top, but I continue learning from the culmination of my mistakes. As well, I can’t say I have any regrets.

Life has a way of correcting your alignment with its course.

I’ve faced, accepted, and owned the crazy things I’ve done. Meeting and getting to know others who open up about the things they’ve done, that society has no business judging, motivates the hell out of me to tell as many stories as I can.

I do what I do because I’m always evolving. I’ve changed my mind countless times about things I thought were true.

Creating a Wake

Life isn’t an accident; life happens on purpose. Some people cause a wake, and others leave an unsettled aftermath.

We crawl before walking, and walk before running. We leave tracks connecting where we’re at, where we’ve been and where we’re from.

Everyone has experience worth sharing. Some won’t, and others will, but nobody can walk a mile in someone else’s shoes until completing a marathon in their own.

You are your #1 priority. Timing is everything and your time is now. Always look after #1. Know how to put yourself first, without being selfish. The more you help yourself, the better you’ll be helping others.

Pay attention to your state of mind. Don’t lose sight of your goals, sacrifice your happiness, or devalue your worth.

Always exercise your mind. Spend your spare time doing things that make you feel something.

Be better than good. Good things happen to good people, but being good is only the beginning.

Actively participate in life. Stay aware of your surroundings. Treat others with kindness. Honesty is the best thing for sleeping well at night. Know yourself by being self aware at all times.

There’s nothing more embarrassing than getting caught up in some bullshit, so stay out of it.

Always ask why. Question everything to understand anything. Curiosity won’t kill you, but lacking it will.

Do everything with confidence. Confidence is sexy. There’s a difference between being confident, and being a dick.

Laugh. Every. Day.

Be someone you’re proud to promote. You have exactly until you die to become the person you’re proud to be.
Travis Garrod, Devilish Smirk

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A Message For Those Who Need It

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It’s a great time to feel alive, right here, right now, wherever, or whenever we are.

That's one of those feel good mantras I always wanted to believe, but had every reason not to.

Cultivating a life worth living takes time, and patience is a virtue.

Focus on the future value of the decisions you make today, and live life as an unapologetic beautiful soul.

Almost every relationship works the same as finding love: Relationships happen when you least expect.

Any relationship; take your pick, but don’t work too hard to find something that will eventually find you.

Extra Travis Phone Home!

I bet you thought E.T. stood for Extra Terrestrial.

Hang In There Kid!

Hang in there kid, you have a gifted spirit, and deep down you feel it. You exist in a data-based world, and learning’s a lifetime quest.

You’ve already earned the grand prize of life, and now is your time to live. In the playground of good and evil, there’s nothing more to win.

Appreciate and care for others; but your only concern is you.

Keep an open mind, follow your heart, and learn as much as you can.

You’ll fuck up for sure; it’ll happen a lot, and that will never change.

There are lessons to learn from the mistakes you’ll make. Learn to be humble.

Do yourself a favor, start making a list.

You’ll see your reflection in mirrors, at first, and that’s a great place to start.

Be honest about who you are, and acknowledge when you’re wrong. This isn’t a drill.

A lot won’t make sense for a very long time, and you won’t feel important – until you believe you’re important.

Explore the paths of most resistance, but make good choices. This requires bold decisions, and bold decisions involve risk.

Learn to be spontaneous. Quick decisions aren’t always comfortable, but it only takes one to be the pivot that inevitably changes your life.

Whatever you do, don't become a greedy, selfish, evil, affected, awful lying twit. It never ends well for those.

Universal expectations of humans are low.

Dead or alive, you’re guaranteed a legacy fully directed by the actions you choose.

Failure succeeds at motivating.

You’ll never know what winning feels like until you know what it feels like to lose.

It’s important you do this alone.

I can’t tell you more, but remember this: Life is jam packed with shock and surprise, and I’ll always have your back.“

Your Table’s Waiting

Friendships are a special beast within the realm of relationships. Like all relationships, friendships evolve, and they are a two-way street.

A life without friends isn’t much of a life, and making new friends is a crap shoot. Lucky us!

Welcome to the Ca-si-no, I’m not your friend!

It’s like gambling, except when placing bets, we use mental currency, not cash, and it’s amazing what your mind can afford.

P, P, P, Poker Face, P, P, Poker Face!

Life is like an incessant game of poker, and it’s boring if you don’t pay attention. There’s always a spot reserved for you – and only you – for life.

How we behave, interact, and communicate with each other is a culmination of whatever cards life hands us on a daily basis.

You won't win without trying and you have to play anyway. At minimum, poker is entertaining, but can be insanely fun with the right people.

Learn through observation and improve through experience. With a good poker face, a losing hand can win almost any game. Luck can strike at any time and change your life.

Keep your head in the game.

The Best is Yet to Come

I’ve spent a lot of time wishing I’d made better decisions in life. It’s fun to think about how things could be different, if only I just…

However, that’s a waste of time. My past made me who I am today. Now is not the time for coulda shoulda woulda didn’t stories. There’s no sense in beating yourself up over shit you didn’t do.

If you want to change anything, apply the knowledge gained from the lessons life has given you and commit to being better, not bitter.

Bring yourself to the table so we can be better, together.

Smile more. Welcome new people, and show interest in others. Put forth an effort to show people you care.

Small changes will evolve your world before you know it. Even still, it takes time; a lot of time.

And patience.

Nobody lives while dwelling in the past and trapped in a loop. Nobody lives when they aren’t present. I’ve been there. It’s a self sentenced purgatory.

Being alive without living is a lonely place.

Imagination Work is a Virtual Brain Gym

Life is a game of wonder.

Nobody lives a life they never imagine, and it’s never too late to dream. You can always discover, create, tweak, finetune, evolve, enhance, and achieve dreams.

However, there’s a caveat. It’s work, and not necessarily work you get paid to do. At least, not at first. It’s work that might pay off down the road.

Your imagination becomes exponentially more active the more you open, stretch, strengthen, and train your imagination.

Imagination training is exhausting, even though you don’t pick up weights. The only thing you lift is your spirit, which, ironically, ultimately lifts you.

My Dream is Virtually Real

Be real and you will begin seeing opportunities that you never thought possible.

Sometimes it takes us to witness a groundswell of humanity in order to realize the secret to life is simple: Life is an internal journey.

In This, We Trust

You - yes you - the person reading (and writing) this right now - we're part of a unique team brought together (or otherwise connected) by incredibly rare circumstances that led us to the right place, at the right time.

Coincidence? It doesn’t matter. Somehow, we’ve crossed paths and it’s about time we have this conversation.

You sacrificed a lot in life early on. Remember? It doesn’t matter what you could have done different. We can play that game for the rest of our lives. Right now, it’s sudden death and the net is wide open. Missing this opportunity is unacceptable.

Everything must fall apart before anything can be pieced back together. Betrayal and loss are experiences everyone needs.

Everything happens for a reason. Nobody enters your life by accident. An actual occurrence of coincidence is rare.

Your external existence will never soar if you don’t understand and reinforce the foundation of your internal existence.

There are good and bad decisions, but there are no right or wrong ones. How we deal with the outcomes defines us as individuals.

A guilt-free conscience is the best prescription for quality sleep.

Embrace each day as an opportunity to push forward with an open mind and a kind soul.

Never forget: A life of privilege isn’t a privilege at all. The longer you live without experiencing heartache and hardships is a disadvantage.

Be nice, be kind, and do the right thing.

Love wins.

Always.

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The Great American Experiment

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Welcome to the Great Experiment!

People got too comfortable playing the game. Picking up where The "Conversation" Game left off...

A lot of what I’ve learned about my life and the world around it makes me uncomfortable.

It makes me happy, sad, elated and doomed – truly doomed – all at once.

It takes us nine months to breathe on our own, but our time on earth is the real womb.

Everyday I learn to adapt, a little more, than the day before. Honestly, that’s all that matters to me.

Life beat the hell out of me before my attempt at beating the hell out of life. Living a life out of hell is worth fighting for.

Hell has no place in my life – inside and out. Real hell.

So here we are, beating the hell out of each other because life and I have a common goal.

My emotions don’t come one by one, they arrive in bundles. Like high speed internet, cable TV, and phone service, the price is too high to start separating my feelings.

If I’ve learned anything on my writing journey it’s that.

The demons are doing jumping jacks now.

Be the Real Deal

Embrace emotions as they happen no matter what they are.

Feel your moments. Every last one of them.

Live like you were born in an arena. For all intents and purposes, you were. If you were born in America, that’s what this is.

You’ll be shocked how far long ago this was set in motion. More time ago than you can imagine.

For now, let's call them years.

Thunderstruck!

Today, I realize how responsible I actually was as a kid. I’ve managed to justify my earlier existence. That’s the “C” student in me.

It's about damn time! I took that believing children are the future shit seriously.

I discovered a voice and, as a kid, I considered a typewriter a toy.

The Creative Guide

I attribute my evolution to having an open mind and heart.

I remind myself of this simple fact at every turn in this crazy reality.

That’s the only way I successfully began understanding the strange world in which I exist.

There’s only so much time before the thoughts behind this smirk are buried in forever.

Luckily, that's not the direction this is going.

The stars aligned. Or not. The planets did. Or didn’t. Whatever it is, it feels like fireworks. Some days. Maybe.

I don’t know.

Moving on.

I feel like I’m crawling out of a steaming pile of extraordinarily colorful crap ashes.

Is it coincidence the Trump conclusion coincides with the final episodes of Game of Thrones which wraps on May 19, 2019 just ahead of the June 7, 2019 Dark Phoenix ~~rise~~ release?

And Sansa Stark stars in both?

Come on!

I’m merely a goose among geese, in a world searching for unicorns.

Don’t get me wrong, unicorns are great! They’re like a horse in permanent drag. However, unicorns shoot rainbows out of their butthole, and they don’t lay golden eggs.

A goose lays the golden eggs.

Where's that goose?

Will Ready Player win? Does Mario finally find his princess? Or prince?

Plot twist!

And all this time I thought I was an owl...

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