Tag: Light

My Dog is My Co-Pirate!

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My Dog is Not My Child

My dog is officially my co-pirate. After spending the summer studying abroad, Bella became Bellz. She graduated and she’s not even two! She’s an overachiever.

I don’t know where she gets it. It wasn’t from me; I was a “C” student.

Congratulations, Bellz! You done good, girl!

I nearly dropped out of college, and not because I didn’t want to be there. I was told I was wasting my time, money, and other things, but I only flunked one class.

Kidding aside, she’s German and Germans make great dogs, and other good shit.

Leave it to Germany to engineer something better than people.

In Dog We Trust

Dogs have an unwavering commitment to loyalty and love. Imagine that you were born into a world filled with unconditional love, encouragement, compassion, and curiosity.

What if I told you that you were already born into that world?

It’s hard to believe, but what if it’s true?

What if you discovered that you were already born into that world?

See, what had happened was…I couldn’t see what I didn’t believe.

Seeing is believing, but I had to believe to see.

I saw, then believed, but I can’t believe my eyes!

I see you!

We have an uncanny ability to complicate the simplest things.

You’ve either figured it out or you haven’t. You will or you won’t. You do or you don’t.

That’s a joke. Not really. Seriously though, it is. Just kidding.  What?

Polly Wanna Cracker?

Referring to dogs as children is automatic, like when someone says they’re “fine” when nobody asked how they were.

Think of it this way:

Americans tend to be parrots. Parrots sit on the shoulders of pirates. If Americans are parrots, then Americans are co-pirates. Being a co-pirate requires at least two pirates. If Americans have a dog, then Americans and dogs are co-pirates.

Any questions? Polly wanna cracker?

It’s basic logic, but Americans aren’t known for being logical. Ask any lawyer. They’ll tell you the truth.

Words Matter

If it pleases the court, I would like to submit evidence that pets are not children.

Nobody gives birth to their dog. Dogs aren’t a result of any sex you had. If you carry a dog for nine months, it’s in a purse.

Dogs happen on purpose. The decision to have a dog is exactly that; a decision. Having a kid requires sex and a choice.

People don’t usually update social media while walking out of an abortion clinic.

Dogs don’t have allergies. Nobody gives up a child because their dog has allergies.

Dog gone!

Dogs don’t hate you. Dogs do the darnedest things. They shit inside, piss on stuff, destroy something or make a mess. Kids talk.

A child will tell you they wish they were never born.

You can’t cage a child. Try that with a toddler. A crib is as close as you get.

Children can have children. Dogs get fixed. Fixed. What a strange word for never reproducing again.

Words Matter

Chaos & Piss

If we continue allowing pet owners to refer to their animals as children, where does it end?

Before you know it, parents will treat their kids like pets and allow them to shit outside. Animals will begin using restrooms, and we can’t even figure out which restroom people should use.

What the fuck? Maybe we should all shit outside.

Why not? We act like animals.

Final Thought

It’s acceptable to euthanize pets. People aren’t so lucky. If I’m ever in a situation where I’m unresponsive and I can’t, won’t, or forget to swallow pudding, I truly won’t mind a lethal dose of anesthesia.

Why not? We act like animals.

I rest my leather case.

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The Project of a Lifetime

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The Truth About Life

A life without friends isn’t much of a life, and making friends is a crap shoot! Lucky us! Welcome to the Ca-si-no, I’m not your friend! It’s gambling, except when placing bets, we use mental currency, not cash, and it’s amazing what your mind can afford.

People are bought all the time, but nobody can buy friends. By definition, that’s not friendship; that’s business. 

However, once you are fortunate enough to cross paths with, and connect to a new soul, a unique adventure begins.

The Fire in Your Soul

The concept is simple. We all have a fire in our soul, and that fire is the source of your inner light.

If you feel your fire (or at least know there is one), continue to read.

If you don’t feel your fire (or don’t believe you have a soul), continue reading, and pretend you do (because you do).

Soul II Soul, from Mine to Yours

Inner light isn’t visible to the naked eye. It could reside in another dimension for all I know. Here’s what I believe about the light that leads me.

  • My light has no color.
  • My light has been with me my entire life.
  • I did well feeding it in my early 20’s.
  • There was a decade thrown in there where it burned slow and steady.
  • I thought it was bright enough.
  • People wanted to dim my light.
  • There was a period where it flickered more than usual.
  • I’ve thrown gasoline on it a few times.
  • In 2014, I packed my light and moved to Arizona.
  • By early 2015, the fire in my soul became a smoldering pile of ashes.
  • In 2016, I could have easily thrown myself in a box, on a shelf, next to Denver and Marco.
  • In 2017, I was struck by lightning – twice.
  • I learned it could never be bright enough.

Even a hurricane couldn’t put this Dark Phoenix out.

Not all Fires are Created Equal

Fires are either built or caused. Building them is preferred, unless, of course, it’s arson. Accidents happen. Nature happens. Regardless of how it starts, playing with fire doesn’t hurt the fire.

People wanted to dim my light.

The safest way to build a fire is to start small, using kindling as a base. Once the base is ablaze, you can begin to throw the big wood on top.

The bigger the fire, the brighter the light.

You don’t need several advanced physics degrees to understand simple physics. With a little TLC, even the tiniest coal can reignite to glorious levels. However, the devil is always in the details.

There are three conditions:

  • Fires need to be fed.
  • You are responsible for your fire.
  • The brighter your light, the more attractive you become.

Like a Moth to a Flame

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Inner light is the eternal beacon of your soul. Carry it proudly, for life, as if it’s your very own Olympic torch. If the Statue of Liberty can do it, so can you.

Are you burning an eternal flame? That’s a question you can answer only for yourself. I believe it, and I live my life accordingly.

Making friends is easier to do when you allow your true self to make first impressions. Anything else is a waste of time. Show up to your own life.

Now, go get some trees and start chopping.

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