Ding Ding “D” O’Duck Duck “G”

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Righting at the Speed of Love

What you’re about to read is not about God. It’s about the nation he’s above. It’s about the United States of America – a country I love and the country I’m from – the country that boldly declares In God We Trust on its currency and the people who prioritize money above human life.

They will have a hard time keeping pace with how this is about to unfold.

Home of the brave, indeed.

Good morning, America! More on moron money in a minute.

I’ve been in a growing state of confusion for the better part of six years. The words regularly penetrating me these days are ongoing and mind blowing.

Look out, folks. I need a shot before I continue. This will be uncomfortable for some awful people.

By the way, my relationship with Milagro involves only a shot glass.

Lordy, Lordy Look Who’s 40

I turned 40 less than a month after moving to Scottsdale. I never imagined how drastically different my life would become today.

It’s a fucking mess, but in the most glorious way.

On September 13, 2018, I’ll have served a four-year term in Arizona.

It happened when it would create an everlasting impact.

I’m not the only one whose life completely realigned itself.

I’m still perplexed, but I feel incredibly blessed, beyond measure, and anyone who knows me understands how weird that statement sounds coming from me.

I deserve another shot. This one’s a double.

America’s Multiple Reality Disorder

Multiple realities are what make life worth living. This is a country where only 5% of the world calls home. We are the world’s melting pot. There’s no country more diverse than America which gives America the biggest opportunity.

In God We Trust

There’s a difference between having life and being alive.

There’s no purpose in having, but there is purpose in being. Not all humans are human beings. At the end of the day there are two ways to go. You either die feeling miserable or depart fulfilled, feeling upgraded to a level of love I cannot wait to see.

For now, I’m going to have to deal with just feeling the love, which isn’t a bad penalty box. I’ll be back in the game soon enough. I needed the rest anyway.

There are plenty of people who never thought this much truth would ever surface. Then again, those people aren’t very smart, and I no longer surround myself with people who bury the truth under layers of deception so easily. That’s not what a human being does.

Being a human being is never easy. Shit, hooking up on Scruff isn’t easy.

Circling Back to Trusting God with Money

Earn it honestly. Don’t steal it and don’t take bribes. I don’t recommend accepting anything stamped with God for bad things. But, I don’t care either way. You do you and it looks like you’re happy doing it and that’s great. Keep going down that path.

In God We Trust

God is everything. God is even the Devil. Think about that for a second.

Be careful, money is a double-edged sword and it’s sharp. By itself, money isn’t the root of all evil; it’s the love of money that will ruin your life and the lives around you.

Money is more addictive than any drug you can inject. It’s especially dangerous because your friends love its scent. It smells better than a kilo of coke and they know when you can’t afford them anymore.

Cash Strapped Trust

If you don’t know what’s going on by now, I don’t know what to Tonya.

Everyone had every opportunity to practice their blindfolded triple consecutive quad axels, coupled with kickboxing and creativity, in time for crowbar season.

Crowbars are basically bats. It doesn’t matter whether it has wings and rabies, or made of wood, both are bad news. You won’t know what hit you anyway, and it doesn’t matter. That’s the least of the problems you can’t solve.

In God We Trust

Money is a magnet for greed and a tool used to manipulate the actions of others. It’s a criminal’s temptation and fuels corruption.

Money dehumanizes us because everyone needs it to survive. It’s one of an infinite temptation we encounter every day.

What will you do for money?

“Keep your relationship with God to yourself and I promise I won’t thump you over the head with a giant dildo in casual passing.” Author Unknown

Simply Awesome Pest Control

No more bets.

America has never had a more easily guided walk, at the speed of baby steps, consciously coupled with the slowest, most repetitive, slide show of bullshit ever imagined.” Author unknown as far as I Know.

The risk of playing with fire is that most people aren’t smart enough to know they’re dancing in the flames.

Rectal Dysfunction

You’re in deep shit if your head is still up your ass. An occasional brain fart doesn’t cut the cheese.

It’s time to shit your brains out. The clock is ticking.

Lt. Dan had legs for days; he just didn’t know how many days.

Money Didn’t Sight Light! Holy Crap!

Since last July, the term “blind trust” has become a common theme and grounding reminder between me and a special friend.

Creativity, music, muses, mistakes, curiosity, compassion, and truth – which takes the longest to expose – are my personal development tools.

Having friends with mutual respect doesn’t harm the process, but introduces a whole new level of disappointment and hurt, that makes you stronger if you’re an adult who can admit mistakes.

Does time heal all wounds? Here’s a hint. No. Time eases pain, but pharmacies don’t sell it.

Ok, I’m taking my dog to the park so I need to wrap this up.

Remain committed to yourself and be loyal enough to be trusted. “Blind Trust” is scary, but it’s the best feeling when it was the right decision even though it’s the most vulnerable feeling.

Now, where did I put that tequila? Three shots this time! I feel like I just bowled a 300. A boy can dream!

In God WE Trust

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My Dog is My Co-Pirate!

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My Dog is Not My Child

My dog is officially my co-pirate. After spending the summer studying abroad, Bella became Bellz. She graduated and she’s not even two! She’s an overachiever.

I don’t know where she gets it. It wasn’t from me; I was a “C” student.

Congratulations, Bellz! You done good, girl!

I nearly dropped out of college, and not because I didn’t want to be there. I was told I was wasting my time, money, and other things, but I only flunked one class.

Kidding aside, she’s German and Germans make great dogs, and other good shit.

Leave it to Germany to engineer something better than people.

In Dog We Trust

Dogs have an unwavering commitment to loyalty and love. Imagine that you were born into a world filled with unconditional love, encouragement, compassion, and curiosity.

What if I told you that you were already born into that world?

It’s hard to believe, but what if it’s true?

What if you discovered that you were already born into that world?

See, what had happened was…I couldn’t see what I didn’t believe.

Seeing is believing, but I had to believe to see.

I saw, then believed, but I can’t believe my eyes!

I see you!

We have an uncanny ability to complicate the simplest things.

You’ve either figured it out or you haven’t. You will or you won’t. You do or you don’t.

That’s a joke. Not really. Seriously though, it is. Just kidding. What?

Polly Wanna Cracker?

Referring to dogs as children is automatic, like when someone says they’re “fine” when nobody asked how they were.

Think of it this way:

Americans tend to be parrots. Parrots sit on the shoulders of pirates. If Americans are parrots, then Americans are co-pirates. Being a co-pirate requires at least two pirates. If Americans have a dog, then Americans and dogs are co-pirates.

Any questions? Polly wanna cracker?

It’s basic logic, but Americans aren’t known for being logical. Ask any lawyer. They’ll tell you the truth.

Words Matter

If it pleases the court, I would like to submit evidence that pets are not children.

Nobody gives birth to their dog. Dogs aren’t a result of any sex you had. If you carry a dog for nine months, it’s in a purse.

Dogs happen on purpose. The decision to have a dog is exactly that; a decision. Having a kid requires sex and a choice.

People don’t usually update social media while walking out of an abortion clinic.

Dogs don’t have allergies. Nobody gives up a child because their dog has allergies.

Dog gone!

Dogs don’t hate you. Dogs do the darnedest things. They shit inside, piss on stuff, destroy something or make a mess. Kids talk.

A child will tell you they wish they were never born.

You can’t cage a child. Try that with a toddler. A crib is as close as you get.

Children can have children. Dogs get fixed. Fixed. What a strange word for never reproducing again.

Words Matter

Chaos & Piss

If we continue allowing pet owners to refer to their animals as children, where does it end?

Before you know it, parents will treat their kids like pets and allow them to shit outside. Animals will begin using restrooms, and we can’t even figure out which restroom people should use.

What the fuck? Maybe we should all shit outside.

Why not? We act like animals.

Final Thought

It’s acceptable to euthanize pets. People aren’t so lucky. If I’m ever in a situation where I’m unresponsive and I can’t, won’t, or forget to swallow pudding, I truly won’t mind a lethal dose of anesthesia.

Why not? We act like animals.

I rest my leather case.

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Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Trust

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The Business of Being Alive

Whether or not you have a job, you’ll always hold the top spot in your personal business. It’s a secure, life-long position for which you were chosen to sit at the helm.

Now, either show up to work, or go some kind of bankrupt.

That’s how business works.

Do you Trust Yourself?

Always trust yourself. Ultimately, you’re responsible for your life choices. Never put that stock in anyone else.

You’re the only person you can rely on 100% of the time.

Trust is the kindling for the fire in your soul. It’s the root of self-confidence. Confidence enables you to explore passions enough for them to bloom. Eventually, trust becomes natural, confidence gains momentum, and you begin developing into the passionate being you were born to be.

It’s a cycle only you can ride. Start peddling.

In Life, We Trust

Decisions come from within, but trust is more than a feeling. Trust is bigger than expecting someone to follow through with a commitment or promise. People can be trustworthy, but that only elevates them as a contributor to a collective goal, of which everyone has a part.

Dust to Trust

Bad things happen to thicken our skin. Life isn’t easy and, at times, feels defeating. If you haven’t experienced heartache in your lifetime, I’m sorry.

The events that break us, make us.

Here are some of the events that affected my family, and others since the turn of the century.

My cousin died from an drug overdose in 2006. He injected himself with gel from a morphine patch, normally prescribed to cancer patients. He didn’t have cancer.
In 2008, my aunt (mother’s side) died from her addiction to alcohol and OxyContin on Christmas Eve. She was found dead, by her teenage son, on her bathroom floor.
Denver, my first dog, was diagnosis with a brain tumor.
On August 31, 2011, Denver was put to sleep.
On September 13, 2011 (my 37th birthday) my grandma (mother’s side), died of complications associated with diabetes and pneumonia.
My grandma (father’s side), died in April 2013. She lost her battle with colon cancer and lymphoma. Dementia set in toward the end.
My grandpa (father’s side), died in March 2015. He was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. He refused treatment and died shortly thereafter.
On February 17, 2016, my second dog, Marco, was put to sleep.
In February, 2017, a friend died from a heart attack while riding his mountain bike on a national park trail.
In February, 2017, another friend (and former employee) died in a hotel room. I cannot tell you if it was either a relapse, or suicide.
On April 3, 2017, another aunt (mother’s side) died from complications related to diabetes and pneumonia. The previous summer, she fell into a coma for nearly a month. She recovered temporarily, but her body was breaking down. She passed peacefully in her sleep.

I did not include events that only affected me, personally.

Trust This

Everything falls apart before you can piece anything back together.

Believe everything that happens to you in life will work out in your favor, despite the chaos you encounter.

There are good and bad decisions, but there are no right or wrong ones. How we deal with the outcomes defines us individually.

Your subconscious mind knows your truth and you’ll never convince it otherwise.

A guilt-free conscience is the best prescription for quality sleep.

Embrace each day as an opportunity to push forward with an open mind and a kind soul.

A life of privilege isn’t a privilege at all.

The longer you live without experiencing pain or heartache is a disadvantage.

Betrayal and loss are experiences everyone needs.

Everything happens for a reason.

There’s no such thing as coincidence.

Nobody enters your life by accident.

In life, we all walk a path, but everyone has free will.

Life is an adventure of your own choosing.

What will you choose next?

Be nice. Be kind. Do the right thing.

Love wins.

Trust That

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