That’s how we row


The ongoing circus in the United States became more ridiculous last week when President Trump fired FBI Director James Comey.

It happened quick and dirty and everyone has theories. I suspect the real reason is much simpler than the narrative the American public gobbles like a spoon-fed Gerber baby.

Generation CREW

The software solution et alia developed was called CREW. It’s ironic that a Washington D.C. watchdog, formerly called Citizens for Ethics in Washington, has adopted ‘Responsibility’ into their name and now using the CREW acronym and the first iteration of our CREW logo.

On one hand it’s kind of cool to see that logo represent the fight against corruption in our nation’s Capital. On the other, it’s a slap in the face since CREW (the software) is directly related to one of the most corrupt operations within U.S. state and federal governments. That would be a great question for Comey.

Americans are a CREW of incredible people. While many could desperately use basic lessons in ethics and compassion, I can’t name too many who identify with today’s politics.

The sky isn’t falling. What you’re seeing is a full blown Trumpnado tearing through a blizzard of career snowflakes.

I expect a few destroyed careers, tanked reputations, irreparable relationships, and countless examples of hypocrisy – which will only make the popcorn, in this theater, taste infinitely better.

Selective outrage over Comey

Last July, Republicans hated Comey and Democrats loved him. Then in October, Republicans loved Comey and Democrats hated him. By November 6, everyone is like “WTF Comey?” And earlier this month Comey is fired and everyone’s pissed.

It’s hard to keep up with the crap coming out of Washington

I know a couple people who’ve tried. The past three years they almost crashed through the bottom of a 500 gallon drum of tequila. Luckily, they splash-landed, nearly intact.

The view was much clearer from their new vantage point. It became apparent that their new fresh hell began in 1999, when they started a small, often overlooked, software company. Honestly, it started way before, but 1999 is an unquestionable bookmark for events that occurred before and since.

Most of what happened was grossly misunderstood which turned everyone around them into skeptical critics. In time, most critics emerged looking in the same direction. Some came around only when it served their own interests, which is always too late (i.e. convenient) for any gesture to be genuine.

Swimming in tequila is dangerous while attempting to uncover truths that have been buried for over a decade. However, once you understand past misconceptions, it’s easier to decode subtle clues and outright lies within present-day narratives.

It’s amazing how history holds the key to understand today’s America, which only gets crazier by the day. Not much shocks me anymore and Comey’s termination was no different.

What will shock me is when the truth comes out.

Timeline of 2016

January 2016 – FBI delays release of Clinton emails regarding the Special Access Program to end of the month. There were a couple deadlines in 2015, but the last one was December 31, 2015. Everyone assumed the emails had everything to do with Benghazi, but that was simply a red herring. Anyway, the FBI was in charge as of January 1, 2016.

Clinton wanted them released ASAP as the emails were part of an ongoing investigation spanning a number of years including her time as Obama’s Secretary of State. Recall that both Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice had a private email servers. Imagine if they were both part of the same investigation. That’s my guess.

February 2016 – FBI delays email release to end of the month again. Something isn’t aligning with the FBI’s investigation and they aren’t able to release the Special Access Program emails. Justice Scalia passed in Texas during a hunting trip while in his bedroom. He was either resting peacefully or with a pillow covering his face. Regardless someone who never saw his body declared him officially dead and his family foregoes an autopsy.

My dog Marco was put down on the 17th of February. I’d be a terrible parent if I neglected to mention him in any 2016 timeline.

At the end of February, the FBI (Comey) flipped it up the chain of command and made the Department of Justice Attorney General Loretta Lynch tend goal to protect President Obama.

March 1, 2016 – Super Tuesday…oops too late to do anything. 2016 primaries kick off, full swing, and this was supposed to be resolved by now.

Trump (it appeared) was basically proving the regular, stale, GOP characters got lost in the shadow of a no bullshit, tell it like it is, real estate mogul who has switched political parties to oppose whichever party occupied the Oval Office.

Clinton (it appeared) was headed for the Oval and Sanders (I’m guessing) was supposed to be her Vice President. That’s what it looked like.

What else happened in March 2016? CIA Director John Brennan met with Putin in Moscow. Secretary of State John Kerry met with Putin in Russia as well.

April – June, 2016 – Delay, delay, delay, campaign pomp and circumstance. Cruz and Kasich dropped out at very suspect times if you pay attention to contested convention rules effectively ensuring a Trump nomination with little to no fuss. Seems they all agreed (or didn’t mind) serving up Trump as their guy. Aside from Rubio who was so affectionately referred to as the ‘boy in the bubble’ by Christie.

Clinton and Sanders float through their contest as beacons to different types frustrated Americans who are sick of political nonsense and senseless logic.

June 27, 2016 – Bill Clinton conveniently departing from Phoenix Sky Harbor airport the same timeframe Loretta Lynch arrived at the same airport as part of her six-city “pillars” roadshow to encourage collaboration between federal and local law enforcement for community policing. Phoenix is the training and education pillar.

July 5, 2016 – Comey comes forward and states that the FBI investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails doesn’t warrant any charges, though it was irresponsible of her to have a private server. He says he doesn’t want to be the one to alter political history. So, what exactly does Comey know?

Also July 5, 2016 – Hillary Clinton boards Air Force One along with President Obama to travel to their first joint appearance for the Clinton campaign in North Carolina.

July 2016 – RNC and DNC hold their conventions. Conveniently, DNC is hacked just before theirs making Hillary’s campaign appear hell bent on sabotaging  Bernie Sanders. Some DNC people resign from their posts, including Debbie Wassermann Schultz.

August 2016 – October 2016 – Presidential debates. Hillary earns the confidence of former naysayers while Trump does and says things that would ruin any other politician’s career.

October Surprise – Comey burps and pukes all over claiming new information is found regarding the supposed investigation into Hillary Clinton’s email. One of two things happened:

1) Comey has a guilty conscience about what he knows and continues with the vague narrative of Clinton emails as a cover to something more complex regarding the FBI investigation. While I think this is true, it’s not the reason for the timely announcement.

2) Comey injected an excuse for Trump to win the election because Hillary Clinton, due to reasons unknown to the American public, cannot – and not by her own doing – win the presidency.

November 8, 2016 – Trump is elected. Confusion ensues. Fast forward a few months and pieces begin coming together.

In a nutshell

The United States found itself in a quandary it has never before faced.  Now, it appears things have fallen out of control as the public narrative was already established and had been fed to the American public for years.

I think D.C. wishes their problem was Russian collusion to rig the election. They’ve gone too far down a road they thought was in better condition. Then again, that’s what our honorable politicians in Washington do – ignore problems in the U.S., make them worse, and figure out who to blame.

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What are the real issues in America?


When considering if even a fraction of what I see or read anymore is an accurate reflection of America’s mindset, my heart sinks. Fake or not, the stories are ugly and the comments are uglier.

If you’re online, you’re in a vivarium. This is a test. If you cannot see the answer by now, try opening your eyes, ears, heart, and mind a tiny bit.

Life gets infinitely better if you don’t make people miserable. I promise!

If you want to be on the right side of history, you better side with humanity

Bullying – kids and adults – is very real in America. It’s kind of amazing we don’t bomb our own country. Or have we?

I don’t know what happens to people that makes them terrible adults. We all have our shit to deal with. All I ask is that you not be part of anyone’s pile.

We, as humans, should embrace and encourage a free and fair world as if it’s our collective purpose. Well, guess what? That is our collective purpose!

Empathy enables us to unite in powerful ways

Painful truths about pain are: nobody’s immune to it, and it has a purpose. You can’t walk a mile in someone’s shoes until you walk a marathon in your own.

Painful events that remind us life isn’t fair can be our most valuable life lessons. Those events help us prioritize what’s important to us, and can often bring clarity.

Can you relate?

Communication is the heart of humanity. Bring that to every table. It’s how we learn about, understand, and relate to each other.

We all have a lot more in common than we think. It just takes a little effort and a few questions. It pains me when people summarily ignore entire groups – be it age, scene, politics, race, religion, whatever – all because they’re uncomfortable. Poor things.

Learn to cope with being uncomfortable

It shouldn’t be that hard. We were all twelve at some point. Americans could stand to be a little more selfless. There are – believe it or not – actual, real problems in the world. Surprise!

A global logic problem

I grew up in Alaska during the culmination of the Cold War. I was born a month after President Nixon resigned. By the time I graduated high school, the Berlin Wall was mostly dismantled, and the Soviet Union had collapsed.

Later that year, I began my college experience. Bright-eyed and full of hope, my generation was ready to change the world.

Optimism sure is cute until years become decades

Good morning, America! In today’s news, distraction is the main attraction. Now, for our top story, “Politics prove the human capacity for hypocrisy.”

Fasten your seat belt, I just did a couple shots.

Bush, Clinton, Bush, Obama, Trump. War. Terror. Money. Shovel ready. Oops, just kidding. Fraud. Secret Access Program. I’m with her. Pocahontas. Pussy. Nothing holds a country together like a small handful of pussy.

America is finally united!

Welcome to the United State of Disbelief!

The American Dream halted construction and the crews were sent home. News, news, words, news, fake news, satire, words, words, Twitter.

Where did the internet come from, anyway? Facebook sure came out of nowhere. How about The Google? What does SAP even do? 

But we don’t care about government and business in the U.S. We like to tear each other down and make everyone miserable – for no reason whatsoever!

Why are you so intolerant of my free speech?

People can develop their most hateful opinions about issues that don’t affect them.

Oops, another shot.

If you don’t like the blue giraffe, simply leave him alone. He’s not from this country, but that doesn’t mean he can’t live here.

Wait, what? Oh, shit. I’m sorry. She? I thought she looked like a dyke. I just saw her in the mens’ room! I hate blue trans giraffes. Rape! If I had a daughter that would have been gross. Only men should be in there.

Giraffes belong in a zoo – along with all the other faggot species! I could have killed it if this liberal fuck town allowed open carry and I owned a gun. Guns!

By the way, there’s an awesome glory hole in the stall with the broken door. You’ll see these shoes I’m wearing tapping the floor! See you soon, buddy.

I almost changed my mind about abortion. Then I forgot that I want to watch the little monster grow up and have no parents! Well?

Who’s that freak in front of him? Is that the other mommy or dad or whatever? I can’t tell if that’s a giraffe’s cock or a baby giraffe falling out. Freaks.

Healthcare is for healthy people! And by healthy, I mean white. You’re a racist if you want me to pay for your shit!

The thing is not worth educating. I’m not even educated. Why educate terrorists? ISIS! All lives matter. Except that trans blue giraffe. Deport that fucker.

These are seriously arguments people have in America?

No wonder we’re being punished. We’ve all been a dick to someone, somewhere, sometime, and maybe recently.

Someone has to stop being a dick, and it might as well be you. Your days of being a dick are over. Oh, relax, you homophobic pieces of trash! I said stop being one, not stop sucking them!


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I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling ’92


I love the United States and I love our freedom.

Despite whichever individual stances we hold dear, anyone can make a fantastic life for themselves by the people they choose to be in it.

Guess what? Being a Republican or Democrat has nothing to do with it.

In the US, we have a gift to experience things so many people on this planet don’t have a prayer to make happen. We owe it to ourselves to be better than we are today.

On November 8, 2016, the United States will elect its 45th president.

Until then, candidates campaign for nominations and, though nothing’s official, the menu resembles ’92 with subtle differences.

In ’92, Bush senior was the incumbent president, but he wasn’t reelected. Today’s Bush probably won’t win the Republican nomination, but if the 2000 election taught us anything, Bush’s don’t need the popular vote. He’s a lifelong politician.

In ’92, Bill Clinton, a Democrat, ended the right’s 12-year-reign. Today’s Clinton, if elected, will probably ban blue dresses in the Oval Office. Intern jokes and talk of impeachment would be fodder throughout her tenure. She’s a lifelong politician.

In ’92, a wealthy mogul (Perot) caused a stir as an Independent earning over 19 million votes (18%) in a pre-social media, but equally frustrated, world.

Today’s wealthy mogul (Trump) hinted at running regardless of whether or not he’s the Republican nominee, but later said he wouldn’t. The polls today say he doesn’t have to. He doesn’t have a lifetime of practiced politics. He speaks his mind and dominates the headlines. So far, it’s working.

The remaining contenders are dwindling. Others have passionate supporters, but only time will tell which ones matter.

Across-the-aisle support is vague, at best, to ensure their bases show up on election day; anything more is chum for bloodthirsty cannibals.

The parties will nominate their most electable option, which may or may not be their best candidate.

Meanwhile, social media feeds and news sources are jammed with headlines and shared stories by impassioned supporters yelling as loud as CAPS LOCK and extra punctuation convey.

By election day, we’re over-saturated, over-sensitive, and over the entire battle.

Free speech is exhausting!

Swing states will elect the president they dislike the least, keeping us on the party pendulum swinging between red and blue. In ’92, Democrats scored 8 years. In ’00, Republicans scored 8 years. In ’08, Democrats scored 8 years.

The score in years since ’92 – Democrats 16, Republicans 8. Now that I think about it, it’s clear why some people are falling apart right now.

Bullets and Bombs Affect Us All Equally 

In ’92, we had recently ended a war in the Middle East, but the region remained in turmoil. Fast forward 23 years – same shit, different day.

In ’92, the threat of domestic terrorism loomed, evidenced by the first attack on the World Trade Center. Only 37 days after President Clinton took office in ’93, a bomb exploded underneath the North Tower. Miraculously, only six people died.

On September 11, 2001, less than a year into President Bush’s first term, terrorists killed nearly 3,000 people before breakfast on the west coast.

Just last week, 14 people died in an attack in California. The debate has turned into whether or not it was ISIS-sponsored, or ISIS-supported.

Meanwhile, all mass shootings are politicized. People are more interested in who’s pulling the trigger than the trigger being pulled because that’s the litmus test for whether or not we collectively call it terrorism.

Call me crazy, but if anyone pulls out an assault rifle and starts mowing people down in my presence, I’ll be fucking terrified regardless of which religion they don’t understand.

What color was the shooter? Did the shooter have an accent? Was the shooter foreign? Somebody please tell me how I should feel! I need to know for other arguments!

The second amendment was written in the late 1700’s and ‘arms’ were significantly different.

The Pendulum Between Red and Blue

Party names are exactly that – names.

Abraham Lincoln, our 16th president, was technically our first Republican president. He fought and won our Civil War and slavery was abolished.

A Democrat was the president of the Confederate States of America that seceded and fought to keep slavery. Oddly, those are predominantly red states today and any support of the Confederate flag is linked to the right.

If you asked me at that time which party I supported, I would have not hesitated to wave the flag of a proud Republican. I don’t like voting on single issues, but slavery is pretty cut and dry to me.

Today, however, the parties are confusing. Clearly, things have changed. Today’s Republicans seem like Civil War Democrats. Parties can call themselves whatever they want, they both need overhauls.

Power, greed, corruption, hypocrisy, narcissism, and complete disrespect have beat the living crap out of politics. Knitting needles have put more religion than the constitution permits into the fabric of our nation.

Like guns, religion isn’t bad. Some bad people conceal and carry religion.

I feel manipulated, not supported.

We’d rather shame and vilify one another than make any concessions on or evolve our stances. 

Politocrisy is my new word. That’s what I’m blaming for disinterest in our election process.

Voter turnout for president moves around 50-55%. There’s no excuse for nearly half of the eligible voters in this country to forego their vote.

We’re all in this together so we better all be involved.

Politics are played on a tennis court and the players need to restring their rackets.

I feel like we’re in a pre-Civil War society. That’s why nobody wants to even hear the words gun control. What are people preparing for? We better figure it out fast, because the rhetoric I’m seeing does not make sense to me.

That’s the real terrorism we are ignoring. It’s not about them killing as many soft targets as possible. That’s the pre-show. It’s about us killing ourselves, and it’s working.

For the record, I support the second amendment. I’m from Alaska, what did you expect? However, all the guns I’ve ever been around were for hunting or general protection in the Alaskan outdoors.

I don’t believe guns will ever be banned in the US. Nothing covered in the constitution should be illegal. That doesn’t mean we can’t be more responsible with our rights.

The petulance from the polarized bases is extremely off putting.

We need a party of leaders to put together an agreeable platform with the necessary concessions for a passionate majority.

Until then, we’ll see which way the swing states direct or redirect the pendulum.

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