That’s how we row

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The ongoing circus in the United States became more ridiculous last week when President Trump fired FBI Director James Comey.

It happened quick and dirty and everyone has theories. I suspect the real reason is much simpler than the narrative the American public gobbles like a spoon-fed Gerber baby.

Generation CREW

The software solution et alia developed was called CREW. It’s ironic that a Washington D.C. watchdog, formerly called Citizens for Ethics in Washington, has adopted ‘Responsibility’ into their name and now using the CREW acronym and the first iteration of our CREW logo.

On one hand it’s kind of cool to see that logo represent the fight against corruption in our nation’s Capital. On the other, it’s a slap in the face since CREW (the software) is directly related to one of the most corrupt operations within U.S. state and federal governments. That would be a great question for Comey.

Americans are a CREW of incredible people. While many could desperately use basic lessons in ethics and compassion, I can’t name too many who identify with today’s politics.

The sky isn’t falling. What you’re seeing is a full blown Trumpnado tearing through a blizzard of career snowflakes.

I expect a few destroyed careers, tanked reputations, irreparable relationships, and countless examples of hypocrisy – which will only make the popcorn, in this theater, taste infinitely better.

Selective outrage over Comey

Last July, Republicans hated Comey and Democrats loved him. Then in October, Republicans loved Comey and Democrats hated him. By November 6, everyone is like “WTF Comey?” And earlier this month Comey is fired and everyone’s pissed.

It’s hard to keep up with the crap coming out of Washington

I know a couple people who’ve tried. The past three years they almost crashed through the bottom of a 500 gallon drum of tequila. Luckily, they splash-landed, nearly intact.

The view was much clearer from their new vantage point. It became apparent that their new fresh hell began in 1999, when they started a small, often overlooked, software company. Honestly, it started way before, but 1999 is an unquestionable bookmark for events that occurred before and since.

Most of what happened was grossly misunderstood which turned everyone around them into skeptical critics. In time, most critics emerged looking in the same direction. Some came around only when it served their own interests, which is always too late (i.e. convenient) for any gesture to be genuine.

Swimming in tequila is dangerous while attempting to uncover truths that have been buried for over a decade. However, once you understand past misconceptions, it’s easier to decode subtle clues and outright lies within present-day narratives.

It’s amazing how history holds the key to understand today’s America, which only gets crazier by the day. Not much shocks me anymore and Comey’s termination was no different.

What will shock me is when the truth comes out.

Timeline of 2016

January 2016 – FBI delays release of Clinton emails regarding the Special Access Program to end of the month. There were a couple deadlines in 2015, but the last one was December 31, 2015. Everyone assumed the emails had everything to do with Benghazi, but that was simply a red herring. Anyway, the FBI was in charge as of January 1, 2016.

Clinton wanted them released ASAP as the emails were part of an ongoing investigation spanning a number of years including her time as Obama’s Secretary of State. Recall that both Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice had a private email servers. Imagine if they were both part of the same investigation. That’s my guess.

February 2016 – FBI delays email release to end of the month again. Something isn’t aligning with the FBI’s investigation and they aren’t able to release the Special Access Program emails. Justice Scalia passed in Texas during a hunting trip while in his bedroom. He was either resting peacefully or with a pillow covering his face. Regardless someone who never saw his body declared him officially dead and his family foregoes an autopsy.

My dog Marco was put down on the 17th of February. I’d be a terrible parent if I neglected to mention him in any 2016 timeline.

At the end of February, the FBI (Comey) flipped it up the chain of command and made the Department of Justice Attorney General Loretta Lynch tend goal to protect President Obama.

March 1, 2016 – Super Tuesday…oops too late to do anything. 2016 primaries kick off, full swing, and this was supposed to be resolved by now.

Trump (it appeared) was basically proving the regular, stale, GOP characters got lost in the shadow of a no bullshit, tell it like it is, real estate mogul who has switched political parties to oppose whichever party occupied the Oval Office.

Clinton (it appeared) was headed for the Oval and Sanders (I’m guessing) was supposed to be her Vice President. That’s what it looked like.

What else happened in March 2016? CIA Director John Brennan met with Putin in Moscow. Secretary of State John Kerry met with Putin in Russia as well.

April – June, 2016 – Delay, delay, delay, campaign pomp and circumstance. Cruz and Kasich dropped out at very suspect times if you pay attention to contested convention rules effectively ensuring a Trump nomination with little to no fuss. Seems they all agreed (or didn’t mind) serving up Trump as their guy. Aside from Rubio who was so affectionately referred to as the ‘boy in the bubble’ by Christie.

Clinton and Sanders float through their contest as beacons to different types frustrated Americans who are sick of political nonsense and senseless logic.

June 27, 2016 – Bill Clinton conveniently departing from Phoenix Sky Harbor airport the same timeframe Loretta Lynch arrived at the same airport as part of her six-city “pillars” roadshow to encourage collaboration between federal and local law enforcement for community policing. Phoenix is the training and education pillar.

July 5, 2016 – Comey comes forward and states that the FBI investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails doesn’t warrant any charges, though it was irresponsible of her to have a private server. He says he doesn’t want to be the one to alter political history. So, what exactly does Comey know?

Also July 5, 2016 – Hillary Clinton boards Air Force One along with President Obama to travel to their first joint appearance for the Clinton campaign in North Carolina.

July 2016 – RNC and DNC hold their conventions. Conveniently, DNC is hacked just before theirs making Hillary’s campaign appear hell bent on sabotaging Bernie Sanders. Some DNC people resign from their posts, including Debbie Wassermann Schultz.

August 2016 – October 2016 – Presidential debates. Hillary earns the confidence of former naysayers while Trump does and says things that would ruin any other politician’s career.

October Surprise – Comey burps and pukes all over claiming new information is found regarding the supposed investigation into Hillary Clinton’s email. One of two things happened:

1) Comey has a guilty conscience about what he knows and continues with the vague narrative of Clinton emails as a cover to something more complex regarding the FBI investigation. While I think this is true, it’s not the reason for the timely announcement.

2) Comey injected an excuse for Trump to win the election because Hillary Clinton, due to reasons unknown to the American public, cannot – and not by her own doing – win the presidency.

November 8, 2016 – Trump is elected. Confusion ensues. Fast forward a few months and pieces begin coming together.

In a nutshell

The United States found itself in a quandary it has never before faced. Now, it appears things have fallen out of control as the public narrative was already established and had been fed to the American public for years.

I think D.C. wishes their problem was Russian collusion to rig the election. They’ve gone too far down a road they thought was in better condition. Then again, that’s what our honorable politicians in Washington do – ignore problems in the U.S., make them worse, and figure out who to blame.

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Does 11:11 Toy with Your Mind?

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Over and Over Again

I’ve seen 11:11 on a regular basis for many years. At first, it only appeared on digital clocks, but today it’s extended to the strangest things. Today, it continues and more frequently than ever.

Constant Reminder

11:11 is a constant reminder of something I struggle to explain and don’t fully understand. It doesn’t surprise me anymore. In fact, I expect it. I’d be surprised if I didn’t frequently see 11:11.

It’s like an ongoing game of peek-a-boo and 11:11 is my babysitter.

I Began to Notice

I can’t remember the first time I saw 11:11, but it became impossible to ignore. It’s a number you don’t forget.

Something naturally compelled me to check the time during this magic minute as if I was loaded with an app called Biological Clock.

About two years ago I began to notice 11:11 when it had nothing to do with time.

Is it just me?

No, it’s more common than I thought, but I didn’t give it much credence until I received one particularly fucked up email I never should have received; an email I still can’t explain.

I haven’t written about it before because I figured my 11:11 experience was nothing more than countless recurring coincidences.

That is, until last summer.

The One I Can’t Explain

On July 15, 2016, I received an email from the Devilish Smirk site notifying me of a new blog post. That’s standard whenever I publish a new post.

If content is added, a one-time email is sent to all subscribers that day.

There was a problem with this one. Nothing new was posted on July 15. Even more, the last time I published anything was in May.

There was no reason for me to receive an email, but there it was.

This post was an update on my dog, Marco, after undergoing surgery on October 31, 2015.

Funny thing – I never noticed that I published this 11 days after his surgery on November 11, 2015.

Apparently, 11:11:11 can be right in front of your face and completely overlooked. I’m actually shocked I didn’t notice this before, but it wouldn’t matter if I did. This 11:11:11 bent the rules to get in my face.

We’re talking about a system generated, duplicate, erroneous email sent over eight months after it was originally posted.

It makes no sense.

Could it have been a message from Marco? Yeah, I’ve turned into that guy.

The July 15, 2016 email caught my attention like 11-11″ dicks.

I began looking into the date 11/11 instead of the time.

I’m a recovering history bonehead. Nothing bored me more in high school than history. Today, however, it’s one of my favorite things to research, analyze, and discuss.

Armistice Day Marked the End of World War I

November 11 is known as Armistice Day which is the day the armistice was signed between the Allies of WWI and Germany, in France, marking the end of WWI.

Visit the Wikipedia page for Armistice Day to learn more.

WWI officially ended on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918. (11:11:11)

In the United States, we call it Veteran’s Day

When I discovered the July 15, 2016 email included 11:11:11 and Armistice Day included 11:11:11, my inner geek grew three sizes.

Had it not been for the July 15, 2016 email, I would’ve probably never made the connection between 1918 and 2015.

The thing about 11:11 is you cannot search for it; 11:11 finds you. That’s how I interpret the July 15 email.

This November will be the 99th anniversary of the end of WWI.

Now for some Notable Standouts of My 11:11 Experience

Voicemail from my mom

Just as before, I didn’t notice this one the first time around. I caught it earlier this year while clearing voicemails I never listened to. More often than not, I return calls without listening to messages. Moral of the story? Listen to voicemail from mom. This 11:11 arrived five months late, but it was just in time.

Searching Devilish Smirk in Facebook App

The search results listed three recent blog posts. The results made me look twice. The post titled What are the real issues in America? was posted on March 11 and had 11 shares. Oddly, when I searched on my laptop, it didn’t say March 11, it said about 2 months ago.

My First Negative 11:11

I check various stock performance just to see what the good old industry is doing. I’m draining my 401(k) these days and not contributing, so I’m not exactly in a position to purchase stocks. Both of these 11’s are red and negative. That can’t be a good sign, but what do I know? To be fair, the ticker has done well the past year.

Way to keep an eye on things Mr. McDermott! Also, congratulations on your fat salary and good luck on Wednesday’s call.

11:11 Jumps the Shark

Really? Last Thursday, I met with a realtor to get an idea of the current value of my house in today’s market. This is a comp of another home in my neighborhood – the only house for sale. It’s overpriced and doesn’t have a pool. If you live in Scottsdale, you need a pool. Trust me. She told me she would price mine $30,000 less than this hot box. I don’t know what she was smoking.

What’s your 11:11 story?

I’d love to hear your 11:11 stories! Or any other number sequence stories!

How do you feel connected to the world around you?

Either tell your story in the comments or email me directly at travis@devilishsmirk.com.

Don’t be shy.

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There are no applications for this job.

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Simple concepts are ridiculously complex behind the curtain. Especially for a job with no application process that turns consciousness into currency.

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I’m going to be an uncle!

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I’m about to be a first time uncle

My brother and his wife are expecting their first child in less than a month. It’s finally hit me – I’m going to be an uncle!

I realize I’m a little old for my first time, but I’m thrilled this is finally a thing. I’m just happy it’s uncle and not grandpa.

We’re pregnant

Last year, my brother called me with the news. It was great to hear, but I was more curious about his mother’s reaction. She’s going to be a first time grandma. I was more excited for her than anything.

Lord knows, she wasn’t getting one from me. When I came out, all the pressure I never felt to produce a grandchild landed squarely on his shoulders.

Finally, a Garrod boy is keeping the name alive! Everyone wins!

The best part of being a gay uncle

Nobody questions a gay man’s ability to be an uncle. In fact, some of the best uncles I know are gay. People just don’t want them to be parents. It’s a ridiculous mindset.

If I tell someone, “Hey, I’m gay and I’m going to be an uncle!” More than likely, they’ll say, “Congratulations!”

If I said, “Hey, I’m gay and I want to be a father!” There are people, even in my family, who would say gays shouldn’t be parents.

Parenting has nothing to do with sexuality and everything to do with ability.

I’m not saying I want to be a father and I’m not I suggesting being an uncle is even comparable to being a father. What I’m saying is this – you know that ‘feeling’ people get when being a parent is finally real? Yeah, gays get that too.

I’m not going to explain the various scenarios where I end up with child. Ultimately, if circumstances were such that I had a kid, I’d be a great father.

Just ask Bellz

What do you mean, Bellz? You get too much attention!

Bellz, you are so damn needy. This is how you end up in your crate! Ok, ok, ok, fine. Maybe I’m not ready to be a father.

Screw it! I’m going to be an uncle!

Since I’m going to be an uncle, I have to develop a few habits that haven’t otherwise stuck. For instance, I’ve dabbled in remembering birthdays, but I haven’t become addicted to sending cards. Even when Facebook reminds me of someone’s birthday, I rarely take action.

If I’m going to do this right, I better get used to buying stamps! I can’t even tell you the last time I bought Christmas cards. This year is going to be different. I’m going to let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Everything in moderation, right?

Note to self: Send newborn card and gift in April. Buy Christmas cards in November. Collect addresses sometime this year. Get your shit together. Baby steps.

It’s a start

Before baby Garrod has taken his/her first breath, he/she inspired a ripple effect a lot of people have already felt. It’s a beautiful thing.

Baby Garrod is the reason I dove into coloring. I was working on a set of nursery pictures as a gift for the family. Turns out, this cracked the beaver dam I mentioned in Seize all your days.

It’s a really cool feeling when an idea takes roots of its own and cultivates other ideas that eventually come full circle. Everyone can do it; the operative words being “do it”.

Speaking of “do it”, I suppose I should finish up the nursery gift. Baby Garrod will be here before I know it!

Nobody knows whether or not baby Garrod is a boy or a girl. I have this strong feeling a boy is on the way. We will know in less than a month! Regardless, I’m excited and I’m going to take my responsibility as an uncle seriously.

Uncle Travis’ oath

I promise I’ll come visit at the earliest, most appropriate time after you enter this world.

I promise to check in to see how you’re doing although you’ll have no conscious memory of these moments.

I promise you will know me even though we may never live in the same state.

I promise to nag your parents to take you on vacation to visit me at every appropriate opportunity, especially when you’re old enough to remember.

I promise to be there for you and your family during any time of need.

I promise you will always have a place to go.

Love,
Uncle Travis

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Seize all your days

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My brain is messy spaghetti. It’s as dense as a beaver dam with a slow trickle. Coloring loosens my noodles.

As of late, I’ve spent significant time coloring to find inspiration. The book I’m using in this category contains inspirational statements.

Now, anyone can blow a bunch of positive reinforcement in your face. That’s not my intent. I take my responsibility to write something worth reading very serious. Sometimes it’s meaningful.

Something seized

This August will mark my third year in Arizona. My ex-partner, Brad, and I co-founded a company in 1999. In 2014, we were acquired by, and relocated for, a Scottsdale-based something.

The transaction can be summed up with one word: Fraud. Stay tuned, more on that later.

Within a year, I was laid off. The CEO required Brad to escort over 30 employees, one-by-one, to their termination meeting and out the door – myself included. All the while, the HR director and CEO hid in their offices.

I began writing immediately after the layoff. I built a timeline of events since the beginning of 2014.

Then, the snowflake became a snowball.

Months of ongoing harassment continued to escalate against Brad after the layoff. He was effectively terminated the following week.

One day at a time

Since then, we’ve swirled in a pool of juxtaposed emotions trying to make sense of how this became our reality. Confusing facts, from the past, began making sense, while ongoing developments rolled out.

As time passed, we began to see this was far more complex than a bad business deal. There was a plan in motion way before we sold.

That plan got fucked the fuck up.

It’s amazing what you can learn with a lot of patience, commitment, time, and a loyal friend.

Looking back, I have strength that I never had to find before because I was going to hit new lows. I’m still struggling. I’ve also become more enlightened, and that’s a great feeling.

I’m not quite sure how Brad feels. I’m kidding. What I meant was, I’m only speaking for myself.

I’m ready to write the story. It’s time.

That’s me, seizing my day and I will seize more

The above wasn’t what I intended to cover when I chose Seize the Day. That was a different day.

I’m going to switch gears here because that’s what I do.

Carpe Diem was the motto on my 11th grade yearbook

I knew my yearbooks were in my home office, somewhere in a messy pile of boxes. The pile of boxes, I haven’t unpacked, that my dog raids when I’m not looking.

That’s how she seizes her days.

Seize the Day was a natural choice because, well, Carpe Diem. I’ve lived in the moment a million different ways. I was looking forward to reflecting on my younger years. Back when I believed I was going to make a difference besides working at Blockbuster.

Wow! What a Difference!

And then, I saw a sobering message on Facebook

Early February, a friend of mine unexpectedly passed. He lived in Milwaukee and his name was Jeff. For years, Jeff and I went to the same gym and we’d often run into each other socially. I lived in Milwaukee for 22 years during a very social time of my life. He was someone I will never forget.

I was introduced to Jeff by a friend who also worked with me at the company, but long before we sold. I reached out to her once I heard the news. He had a heart attack on his bike while trail riding. He was my age.

In her final response to me she said, “Carpe diem, my friend. Hope you are well. xo.”

A week later, and even closer to home

I miss many things about my old company, but the office staff takes the cake. I worked with some of the most dedicated and happy employees.

We changed peoples’ lives. We gave opportunities to people in circumstances that a lot of companies won’t accommodate.

I didn’t realize how different and special our group was until I moved to Scottsdale.

Forest died less than a month ago. He was 49. He was found in a Milwaukee hotel room after not returning home the night before. He had three little boys who would come to the office occasionally.

He was the best inside sales rep a company could ask for. He was polite, humble, kind, and a very special man who had demons.

I wish we never had to let him go.

When I heard of his passing, I couldn’t stop thinking about how things could be so different if the situation up top never happened.

It never should have happened.

We were a close knit group. If someone needed support, we provided support. That’s what families are supposed to do.

How hard is it to support someone? Not hard. It’s not hard at all. You know who it’s hard for? Sanctimonious people and that Scottsdale-based something.

This will all come full circle, I promise.

About that yearbook

Do you believe, in heaven above?

The minute I dusted off my high school yearbook from 1991, a thought hit me upside the head. I felt this overwhelming sense that caused goosebumps all over my upper back, down my arms, and down my legs.

Seeing that green cover and those purple words triggered a memory I’m ashamed hadn’t occurred to me until that moment.

I don’t remember exactly when she was diagnosed with leukemia, but my friend Jodi Hill was a fighter. I met her in Junior High. She was best friends with my close friend, Christy. Wherever you saw one, the other wasn’t far away.

I sat down with the yearbook, thinking about Jodi. I opened it to find her picture, and something fell out and onto the floor.

Touched by an angel

Wow! What a Difference!

Jodi and I became a lot closer our Junior year. That’s the year my social life was boosted by the fact I turned 16. That means one thing: Driver’s license. The next week, I bought a car to match, which I paid for by working at Blockbuster.

Toward the end of our Junior year, Jodi and I were talking about how great it would be if she could get a summer job at Blockbuster. By then, I was in good with the manager. It took about two seconds to convince her to hire Jodi.

We’d work shifts together and lament about how great it was going to be seniors – finally! She wasn’t sick anymore. Or at least, if she was, I didn’t know.

I left for a week to participate in a volleyball tournament in Florida. Upon my return, I showed up for work, and was told that Jodi was in the hospital.

Things weren’t so great after all.

Jodi died that summer. She was 17.

My first funeral

A friend’s mom called to ask me to be a pall bearer at Jodi’s funeral. I didn’t know what that meant. She explained what it was and made some suggestions on what I should wear.

I hung up and started crying because I didn’t have anything she suggested. My next call was to either my step-mom, or a friend’s mom. I can’t remember, but I was still crying about being asked to be part of Jodi’s funeral and not having appropriate attire.

I was shutting down. I didn’t know how to cope with Jodi’s death. My first instinct was to not go to her funeral at all, because of a stupid suit. No 16-year-old should have funeral attire.

This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever written. This is how the past couple years have been, in some strange, connected way.

I’ve either been tuned in to coincidence like never before, or I’ve been touched by an angel. Touching that that yearbook, coupled with Jodi’s obituary falling out, it sure sent a solid message through my body. Whatever you call it, the feeling was as real as the emotions running through me right now.

I guess if there’a a point to all this, my younger self would remind my older self of a very simple thing.

Carpe Diem

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