Whose dream is it, anyway?

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Embrace whatever life throws at you. Be curious. It really is ok to be curious. Nothing happens by accident. There is no such thing as coincidence. Let’s call it an opportunity.

This is your dream! Does it get any better?

That, my friend, is entirely up to you.

This is your dream life.

I’m happy to play this small part.

You, however, are in the driver’s seat. Somehow, we’re crossing paths, right now, and it’s about time we have this conversation. Yes, click that. That’s why you’re here.

Bold decisions are required.

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Have You Ever Felt Like a Baby Iguana?

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The Distraction I Needed, When I Needed it Most

It was my seventh week on St. John when I saw the baby iguana. He could have been born the day I arrived, but most likely after. One thing was clear; this little guy was new to the world.

Curiosity, when peaked, is a great feeling. Seeing something (or someone) new for the first time can be rousing.

At the time, I was sick, and had been for nearly a week. I vomited daily and slept like shit. All I thought about was how awful I felt.

My mindset became my mind trap.

That is, until: “Look! Shiny object!”

Right Place, Right Time

The iguana caught my eye as he ran across the outdoor deck. He was a green – a brilliant hue of green – unlike any iguana I’ve ever seen.

Instantly, nothing else mattered. My mind was entirely focused on the iguana.

He was moving fast! I didn’t expect to get close to him, much less get pictures. I thought for sure he’d be gone in a flash.

Lucky for me, he fucked up. Lucky for him, I’m not an asshole.

Welcome to the World Vivarium, Little One!

He couldn’t have known what was about to happen. Like fish jumping out of the water and and into a net – whatever he was chasing led him straight into a trap.

He was caught between two doors and could only see the world from behind a screen.

He was so busy looking one direction, he didn’t notice the solution was right behind him. All he had to do was turn around and walk away. Easier said than done, apparently.

Now Iguana Have Some Fun With You

He was easy to manipulate in such confined space. From inside the house, I made him look larger than life – as most people do, with themselves, from the comfort of their keyboards. But, he wasn’t a troll. He was more like Godzilla!

Help Those in Need

Never tell an iguana that he looks like Godzilla. I don’t know why, but he didn’t find it funny. Obviously, he was stuck in a rut and didn’t know what to do. On the inside, he wasn’t as bright. He lost the spunk he had when he first caught my eye.

He looked bored, anxious, and wanted to be free.

He had no friends on this side of the screen. There was nowhere to run on this side of the screen. His side of the screen had limits. He was held back on this side of the screen. Basically, he was trapped, alone, and unable to physically navigate his world. He could only watch everything happen, whatever it was, from his little space.

It was time for him to go.

I had to help this little guy out of his fresh hell and get back to life – without scaring or harming him. That meant, no hands near the iguana. He was frightened by hands.

I Know You Can Do It

The iguana wasn’t coming out of the space on his own so a friend and I tried to help. We detached the screen, then flipped it. He was no longer on the inside looking out; he was outside looking in.

Immediately, he looked brighter, healthier, and more hopeful than ever. He didn’t move. He just sat there, staring at the world over his shoulder.

Freedom’s Just Another Word for Nothing Left to Lose

Barriers are restricting and remind us of what we can potentially accomplish. That is, if you don’t succumb to a spiral.

It took time, but the iguana grew tired of sitting still and staring at a screen. Eventually, he looked away from the filtered world and hopped onto the deck.

He landed on his feet, stood still for a minute, and analyzed his situation.

Now on the deck, he could see the house, and wanted to get as far away as possible – as quickly as possible.

When freedom’s at risk, there’s no time to waste.

Iguana Break Free!

When the iguana turned around, my heart sank. There was nothing I could do as he launched himself off the porch.

The ground was 25-feet below deck.

The thing about the real world is this. Shit gets real. Sometimes, too real. Isolating yourself is one hell of a way to find out what that means.

The iguana had a rough morning that day, but don’t worry about him. I have good news.

He landed on his feet, stood still for a minute, and analyzed his situation.

He was free to explore his natural environment. Hell, he was free to do whatever his heart desired. With that, the iguana disappeared into the forest.

He Survived

I noticed I felt human again. I didn’t feel nauseous. In fact, I felt better than I had in days.

The Iguana Gave Me the Green Light

At that point, ~~his~~ my journey truly began.

I spent 21 more days on St. John – on my feet.

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Life is an Opportunity to Live

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Opportunities knock all the time, but it’s not always easy to know which ones to grab. Right or wrong, every opportunity is a chance to learn. The more we learn, the better we become. Sometimes, being better requires us to feel worse than ever before.

Onward and upward!

I’ve spent a lot of time wishing I’d made better decisions in life. It’s fun to think about how things could be different if I only just…

However, that’s a waste of time. My past made me who I am today. Now is not the time for coulda shoulda woulda didn’t stories. There’s no sense beating yourself up over shit you didn’t do. If you want to change anything, apply the knowledge gained from the lessons life has given you and commit to being better – not bitter.

Nobody lives while dwelling in the past. Nobody lives being trapped in a loop. Nobody lives when they’re not present. I’ve been there. It’s a self sentenced purgatory. Being alive without living is a lonely place. Eventually, I had to ask myself, “Do I want to live life or lose it?”

I Chose to Live

In June, an opportunity knocked hard and loud and it was unlike any other before. How it happened is another story for another time, but a friend of mine was hell bent on leaving Arizona. Scottsdale held too many reminders of things gone wrong for both of us.

We needed to go far away with relaxing with beautiful beaches, surrounded by the blue water, where people appreciate life. Somewhere disconnected from the U.S. version of the real world; a place completely different.

One place came to mind; a tucked away island in the Caribbean, the smallest U.S. Virgin Island known as St. John.

It started as a bad idea. Within 24 hours, we were in flight to paradise. Nothing says ‘I don’t give a fuck’ like booking a one-way trip on a private jet. If my friend is one thing, he’s fearless.

I had a breakdown that morning. It was the craziest turn of events I’d ever witnessed. He was dead serious and I was waiting for the punchline. I didn’t even pack.

My younger self didn’t need to remind me what to do with this once in a lifetime opportunity.

I had 30 minutes to throw my shit in a bag and hop in the car.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

After 68 days on St. John, I returned to Scottsdale. My friend stayed. It was an opportunity for which I will forever be grateful. It inspired me in ways I never expected. The trip changed my life. It reminded me that it’s good to be alive.

Wake Up, Travis!

It’s alive!

Ok, so you’re not technically an ‘it’, but your life is. This is it! Does it get any better? That, my friend, is entirely up to you.

This is your dream life!

You – yes you – the person reading (and writing) this right now – we’re part of a unique team brought together (or otherwise connected) by incredibly rare circumstances that led us to the right place, at the right time.

Coincidence? It doesn’t matter. Somehow, we’ve crossed paths and it’s about time we have this conversation.

You sacrificed a lot in life early on. Remember? It doesn’t matter what you could have done different. We can play that game for the rest of our lives. Right now, it’s sudden death and the net is wide open. Missing this opportunity is unacceptable.

Life is what you make it so make it great. Your own story should inspire you. Focus on what matters, stay positive, and roll with the punches. Nobody said this would be easy!

They Knock so Softly

You are your #1 priority. Timing is everything and your time is now. Always look after #1. Know how to put your self first without being selfish. Then, you can be selfless. The more you help yourself, the better you’ll be helping others.

Pay attention to your state of mind. Don’t lose sight of your goals, sacrifice your happiness, or devalue your worth. Always exercise your mind. Spend your spare time doing things that make you feel something. The fall from the cliff hanging above rock bottom is hard and fast. Stay on top.

Ditch the device life. Technology is useful if you know how to use it. There’s a vast difference between the world I see outside than the world I see online. Go see for yourself.

Be better than good. Good things happen to good people, but being good is only the beginning. Actively participate in life. Stay aware of your surroundings. Treat others with kindness. Honestly is the best thing for sleeping well at night. Know yourself by being self aware at all times. Most importantly, do the right thing.

There’s nothing more embarrassing than getting caught up in some bullshit, so stay out of it.

Nurture friendships. Who wants to be alone? Nobody. Reach out to an old friend right now.

Always ask, “why?” Curiosity won’t kill you, but lacking it will.

Do everything with confidence. Confidence is sexy.

Laugh. Every. Day.

(Try laughing at yourself)

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I’m Glad I’m Not a Toilet

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I am really glad I’m not a toilet. Who knows where the hell I’d end up, how much shit I’d swallow, or how many diseases I’d host and pass without even knowing.

Kind of like life…

People line up to use toilets, often not caring about the crappy chaos and splatter piss. Toilets deal with shit and piss all the time! The only break (if you call it a break) a toilet might catch is a little cocaine, or a senseless argument over genitals, but, at the end of the day, a toilet is a toilet.

I’ve been mistaken for a toilet before and all I can say is, screw that!

Shitty Ass People

People can be awful a lot of the time. They do dipshit things to anyone, anywhere, anytime.

It boggles my mind when someone thinks they can do no wrong even after discreetly wrecking a marriage (or two) and (possibly) the heart of a child.

It’s especially rich when people change their convictions based on which way the wind blows. Abortion is the first word to comes to mind, but this is America so you know there are others – many others.

Left unchecked, bad traits (especially when involving money) can become dangerous – or criminal – habits.

Ever the optimist, I believe humanity will prevail, but we have to start prevailing. That means, grow up. It’s time.

Dream big!

This brings me to a dream I had last week. I have a tendency to forget my dreams. This time, however, the shit stuck.

What I love about dreams is they make no sense. It was one of those dreams within a dream within a dream.

This dream took place in a bar. Within the bar was a giant toilet. However, the bowl itself was somehow bigger than the planet.

Welcome to the shit show!

I don’t know how I ended up with a job at a local bar supporting toilets, but I was on plunger duty. You can imagine my face when way too many pieces of shit rolled through the door.

I knew I was in for a night to remember.

The influx of shit was due to a scrappy poster advertising an unrefined contest they could see from outside. The poster listed a vague prize. It was a simple word – treasure – all lowercase, written with glue and silver glitter.

The First Super Toilet Bowl

It sounded like something sponsored by the NFL. Toward the bottom of the poster was a scribbled guarantee; an opportunity to live the most fulfilled life and make a difference in the world for one winner.

How the shit coincidentally stumbled across this opportunity is anyone’s guess. Life doesn’t always make sense. But, we’re not here to talk about life. Today, we’re talking about shit.

The goal of the contest was to be the smallest piece of shit. You see, shit knows what it is so the strategies were lame. Rather than explain why they were the smallest, they focused on convincing the judge that the other pieces were bigger.

Blinded by slinging shit at each other, none of them noticed they were in a toilet bowl of global proportions. The judge watched as things got ugly fast. The water became cloudy and a warning light started to blink rapidly.

Shit was taking too long and the judge had to intervene. Tired of what he’d witnessed, he ripped a page right out of the Shitty Strategies playbook.

The word on the page was “loopholes” and that sounded close enough to “flush” for the judge.

The dirty water in the big bowl started swirling. All the shit suddenly started exposing how big each piece was! It stepped all over itself and got all smashed together and skidded up the sides. The shit was riding up each other’s backs and tried plugging the toilet with smaller pieces as it all started to break apart.

Silly shit!

Not one of the pieces of shit sacrificed themselves to save the others. None of the shit survived. In fact, none of them ever resurfaced. It was as if the bar never opened that night.

Thank god for more bars!

Nobody ever heard of that contest again. Nobody even wondered about a new venue. By design, the contest only appealed to shit to begin with and that’s the crux of the problem. It’s not a contest that can be advertised because it attracts the wrong contestants. As it stood, the contest that night was a once in a lifetime thing.

I woke up the first time

I remember waking up swimming laps in a cold toilet. Then I was enveloped in complete darkness. Suddenly I felt surrounded by pool toys all around. I started getting hit in the head with fresh crap while treading water as I yelled “SHIT!” over and over.

I woke up the second time

There was an envelope in my lap that said “Super Toilet Bowl Criteria for Winners” I opened it to find a torn piece of lined paper out of a miniature sized spiral notebook.

It read, “Sole winner? Are you joking? In this contest there are only losers. Pieces of shit will always lose. If you don’t want to lose, don’t be a piece of shit. Prize to be shared with all non-losers.”

In that moment, I realized the contest wasn’t over. Not yet, but it could be over at any moment and I didn’t want to be a piece of shit when it was done.

What nobody understood was everyone, everywhere was in the contest all along.

I woke up for the third and final time

My skin was clammy as my body was covered in a cold sweat and my ceiling fan was on high.

I was laying in bed and my pillow was soaking wet. My shirt looked like I just left a water balloon fight and jumped in bed. My sheets were drenched.

I was cold and uncomfortable and in the dark. But, at least I was safe.

In that moment, I realized a simple truth: Live your life, but don’t be a piece of shit!

God works in mysterious ways.

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That’s how we row

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The ongoing circus in the United States became more ridiculous last week when President Trump fired FBI Director James Comey.

It happened quick and dirty and everyone has theories. I suspect the real reason is much simpler than the narrative the American public gobbles like a spoon-fed Gerber baby.

Generation CREW

The software solution et alia developed was called CREW. It’s ironic that a Washington D.C. watchdog, formerly called Citizens for Ethics in Washington, has adopted ‘Responsibility’ into their name and now using the CREW acronym and the first iteration of our CREW logo.

On one hand it’s kind of cool to see that logo represent the fight against corruption in our nation’s Capital. On the other, it’s a slap in the face since CREW (the software) is directly related to one of the most corrupt operations within U.S. state and federal governments. That would be a great question for Comey.

Americans are a CREW of incredible people. While many could desperately use basic lessons in ethics and compassion, I can’t name too many who identify with today’s politics.

The sky isn’t falling. What you’re seeing is a full blown Trumpnado tearing through a blizzard of career snowflakes.

I expect a few destroyed careers, tanked reputations, irreparable relationships, and countless examples of hypocrisy – which will only make the popcorn, in this theater, taste infinitely better.

Selective outrage over Comey

Last July, Republicans hated Comey and Democrats loved him. Then in October, Republicans loved Comey and Democrats hated him. By November 6, everyone is like “WTF Comey?” And earlier this month Comey is fired and everyone’s pissed.

It’s hard to keep up with the crap coming out of Washington

I know a couple people who’ve tried. The past three years they almost crashed through the bottom of a 500 gallon drum of tequila. Luckily, they splash-landed, nearly intact.

The view was much clearer from their new vantage point. It became apparent that their new fresh hell began in 1999, when they started a small, often overlooked, software company. Honestly, it started way before, but 1999 is an unquestionable bookmark for events that occurred before and since.

Most of what happened was grossly misunderstood which turned everyone around them into skeptical critics. In time, most critics emerged looking in the same direction. Some came around only when it served their own interests, which is always too late (i.e. convenient) for any gesture to be genuine.

Swimming in tequila is dangerous while attempting to uncover truths that have been buried for over a decade. However, once you understand past misconceptions, it’s easier to decode subtle clues and outright lies within present-day narratives.

It’s amazing how history holds the key to understand today’s America, which only gets crazier by the day. Not much shocks me anymore and Comey’s termination was no different.

What will shock me is when the truth comes out.

Timeline of 2016

January 2016 – FBI delays release of Clinton emails regarding the Special Access Program to end of the month. There were a couple deadlines in 2015, but the last one was December 31, 2015. Everyone assumed the emails had everything to do with Benghazi, but that was simply a red herring. Anyway, the FBI was in charge as of January 1, 2016.

Clinton wanted them released ASAP as the emails were part of an ongoing investigation spanning a number of years including her time as Obama’s Secretary of State. Recall that both Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice had a private email servers. Imagine if they were both part of the same investigation. That’s my guess.

February 2016 – FBI delays email release to end of the month again. Something isn’t aligning with the FBI’s investigation and they aren’t able to release the Special Access Program emails. Justice Scalia passed in Texas during a hunting trip while in his bedroom. He was either resting peacefully or with a pillow covering his face. Regardless someone who never saw his body declared him officially dead and his family foregoes an autopsy.

My dog Marco was put down on the 17th of February. I’d be a terrible parent if I neglected to mention him in any 2016 timeline.

At the end of February, the FBI (Comey) flipped it up the chain of command and made the Department of Justice Attorney General Loretta Lynch tend goal to protect President Obama.

March 1, 2016 – Super Tuesday…oops too late to do anything. 2016 primaries kick off, full swing, and this was supposed to be resolved by now.

Trump (it appeared) was basically proving the regular, stale, GOP characters got lost in the shadow of a no bullshit, tell it like it is, real estate mogul who has switched political parties to oppose whichever party occupied the Oval Office.

Clinton (it appeared) was headed for the Oval and Sanders (I’m guessing) was supposed to be her Vice President. That’s what it looked like.

What else happened in March 2016? CIA Director John Brennan met with Putin in Moscow. Secretary of State John Kerry met with Putin in Russia as well.

April – June, 2016 – Delay, delay, delay, campaign pomp and circumstance. Cruz and Kasich dropped out at very suspect times if you pay attention to contested convention rules effectively ensuring a Trump nomination with little to no fuss. Seems they all agreed (or didn’t mind) serving up Trump as their guy. Aside from Rubio who was so affectionately referred to as the ‘boy in the bubble’ by Christie.

Clinton and Sanders float through their contest as beacons to different types frustrated Americans who are sick of political nonsense and senseless logic.

June 27, 2016 – Bill Clinton conveniently departing from Phoenix Sky Harbor airport the same timeframe Loretta Lynch arrived at the same airport as part of her six-city “pillars” roadshow to encourage collaboration between federal and local law enforcement for community policing. Phoenix is the training and education pillar.

July 5, 2016 – Comey comes forward and states that the FBI investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails doesn’t warrant any charges, though it was irresponsible of her to have a private server. He says he doesn’t want to be the one to alter political history. So, what exactly does Comey know?

Also July 5, 2016 – Hillary Clinton boards Air Force One along with President Obama to travel to their first joint appearance for the Clinton campaign in North Carolina.

July 2016 – RNC and DNC hold their conventions. Conveniently, DNC is hacked just before theirs making Hillary’s campaign appear hell bent on sabotaging Bernie Sanders. Some DNC people resign from their posts, including Debbie Wassermann Schultz.

August 2016 – October 2016 – Presidential debates. Hillary earns the confidence of former naysayers while Trump does and says things that would ruin any other politician’s career.

October Surprise – Comey burps and pukes all over claiming new information is found regarding the supposed investigation into Hillary Clinton’s email. One of two things happened:

1) Comey has a guilty conscience about what he knows and continues with the vague narrative of Clinton emails as a cover to something more complex regarding the FBI investigation. While I think this is true, it’s not the reason for the timely announcement.

2) Comey injected an excuse for Trump to win the election because Hillary Clinton, due to reasons unknown to the American public, cannot – and not by her own doing – win the presidency.

November 8, 2016 – Trump is elected. Confusion ensues. Fast forward a few months and pieces begin coming together.

In a nutshell

The United States found itself in a quandary it has never before faced. Now, it appears things have fallen out of control as the public narrative was already established and had been fed to the American public for years.

I think D.C. wishes their problem was Russian collusion to rig the election. They’ve gone too far down a road they thought was in better condition. Then again, that’s what our honorable politicians in Washington do – ignore problems in the U.S., make them worse, and figure out who to blame.

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