Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Trust

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The Business of Being Alive

Whether or not you have a job, you’ll always hold the top spot in your personal business. It’s a secure, life-long position for which you were chosen to sit at the helm.

Now, either show up to work, or go some kind of bankrupt. 

That’s how business works.

Do you Trust Yourself?

Always trust yourself. Ultimately, you’re responsible for your life choices. Never put that stock in anyone else.

You’re the only person you can rely on 100% of the time.

Photo Credit: Travis Garrod

Trust is the kindling for the fire in your soul. It’s the root of self-confidence. Confidence enables you to explore passions enough for them to bloom. Eventually, trust becomes natural, confidence gains momentum, and you begin developing into the passionate being you were born to be

It’s a cycle only you can ride. Start peddling.

In Life, We Trust

Decisions come from within, but trust is more than a feeling. Trust is bigger than expecting someone to follow through with a commitment or promise. People can be trustworthy, but that only elevates them as a contributor to a collective goal, of which everyone has a part.

Vices and Virtues, Dust to Trust. Graphic Created by: L. Sebastian

Dust to Trust

Bad things happen to thicken our skin. Life isn’t easy and, at times, feels defeating. If you haven’t experienced heartache in your lifetime, I’m sorry.

The events that break us, make us.

Here are some of the events that affected my family, and others since the turn of the century.

  • My cousin died from an drug overdose in 2006. He injected himself with gel from a morphine patch, normally prescribed to cancer patients. He didn’t have cancer.
  • In 2008, my aunt (mother’s side) died from her addiction to alcohol and OxyContin on Christmas Eve. She was found dead, by her teenage son, on her bathroom floor.
  • Denver, my first dog, was diagnosis with a brain tumor.
  • On August 31, 2011, Denver was put to sleep.
  • On September 13, 2011 (my 37th birthday) my grandma (mother’s side), died of complications associated with diabetes and pneumonia.
  • My grandma (father’s side), died in April 2013. She lost her battle with colon cancer and lymphoma. Dementia set in toward the end.
  • My grandpa (father’s side), died in March 2015. He was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. He refused treatment and died shortly thereafter.
  • On February 17, 2016, my second dog, Marco, was put to sleep.
  • In February, 2017, a friend died from a heart attack while riding his mountain bike on a national park trail.
  • In February, 2017, another friend (and former employee) died in a hotel room. I cannot tell you if it was either a relapse, or suicide.
  • On April 3, 2017, another aunt (mother’s side) died from complications related to  diabetes and pneumonia. The previous summer, she fell into a coma for nearly a month. She recovered temporarily, but her body was breaking down. She passed peacefully in her sleep.

I did not include events that only affected me, personally.

Trust This

Everything falls apart before you can piece anything back together.

Believe everything that happens to you in life will work out in your favor, despite the chaos you encounter.

There are good and bad decisions, but there are no right or wrong ones. How we deal with the outcomes defines us individually.

Your subconscious mind knows your truth and you’ll never convince it otherwise.

A guilt-free conscience is the best prescription for quality sleep.

Embrace each day as an opportunity to push forward with an open mind and a kind soul.

A life of privilege isn’t a privilege at all.

The longer you live without experiencing pain or heartache is a disadvantage.

Betrayal and loss are experiences everyone needs.

Everything happens for a reason.

There’s no such thing as coincidence.

Nobody enters your life by accident.

In life, we all walk a path, but everyone has free will.

Life is an adventure of your own choosing.

What will you choose next?

Be nice. Be kind. Do the right thing.

Love wins.

Trust That

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The Project of a Lifetime

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The Truth About Life

A life without friends isn’t much of a life, and making friends is a crap shoot! Lucky us! Welcome to the Ca-si-no, I’m not your friend! It’s gambling, except when placing bets, we use mental currency, not cash, and it’s amazing what your mind can afford.

People are bought all the time, but nobody can buy friends. By definition, that’s not friendship; that’s business. 

However, once you are fortunate enough to cross paths with, and connect to a new soul, a unique adventure begins.

The Fire in Your Soul

The concept is simple. We all have a fire in our soul, and that fire is the source of your inner light.

If you feel your fire (or at least know there is one), continue to read.

If you don’t feel your fire (or don’t believe you have a soul), continue reading, and pretend you do (because you do).

Soul II Soul, from Mine to Yours

Inner light isn’t visible to the naked eye. It could reside in another dimension for all I know. Here’s what I believe about the light that leads me.

  • My light has no color.
  • My light has been with me my entire life.
  • I did well feeding it in my early 20’s.
  • There was a decade thrown in there where it burned slow and steady.
  • I thought it was bright enough.
  • People wanted to dim my light.
  • There was a period where it flickered more than usual.
  • I’ve thrown gasoline on it a few times.
  • In 2014, I packed my light and moved to Arizona.
  • By early 2015, the fire in my soul became a smoldering pile of ashes.
  • In 2016, I could have easily thrown myself in a box, on a shelf, next to Denver and Marco.
  • In 2017, I was struck by lightning – twice.
  • I learned it could never be bright enough.

Even a hurricane couldn’t put this Dark Phoenix out.

Not all Fires are Created Equal

Fires are either built or caused. Building them is preferred, unless, of course, it’s arson. Accidents happen. Nature happens. Regardless of how it starts, playing with fire doesn’t hurt the fire.

People wanted to dim my light.

The safest way to build a fire is to start small, using kindling as a base. Once the base is ablaze, you can begin to throw the big wood on top.

The bigger the fire, the brighter the light.

You don’t need several advanced physics degrees to understand simple physics. With a little TLC, even the tiniest coal can reignite to glorious levels. However, the devil is always in the details.

There are three conditions:

  • Fires need to be fed.
  • You are responsible for your fire.
  • The brighter your light, the more attractive you become.

Like a Moth to a Flame

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Inner light is the eternal beacon of your soul. Carry it proudly, for life, as if it’s your very own Olympic torch. If the Statue of Liberty can do it, so can you.

Are you burning an eternal flame? That’s a question you can answer only for yourself. I believe it, and I live my life accordingly.

Making friends is easier to do when you allow your true self to make first impressions. Anything else is a waste of time. Show up to your own life.

Now, go get some trees and start chopping.

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Sweet Jesus! Elton John was right!

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“Blessed”
Elton John

“Hey you, you’re a child in my head.
You haven’t walked yet.
Your first words have yet to be said.
But I swear, you’ll be blessed.”
Elton John – “Blessed”

I am blessed.
I
realize that now.

All this time,
I’ve heard I’m going to hell
because I’m gay,
and a bunch of other reasons.

Corporate criminals go to hell.
P
olitical criminals go to hell.
Bribes don’t exist in hell.
You don’t cut deals in hell.
Your conscience is your currency in hell.
That’s what burns in hell.

Don’t worry about me.
I don’t worry about you.
Worry about what’s in your heart.
It’s in there somewhere.
Empty.

The devil doesn’t smirk in hell.
I laugh my ass off.

We live in an upside down world.
He’s not laughing right now.
Isn’t that funny?

Come to think of it,
I’m beginning to…



…smirk.

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Passion is the “P” in VIP

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Passion is Truth in Raw Form

When I hear someone speak with unabashed enthusiasm, it’s inspiring. Passion creates action. Action creates reaction.

There’s nothing better than jumping into something you love with both feet.

Coloring by Travis Garrod; Devilish Smirk

Welcome to Your Atmosphere

I just turned 43. If I count the time I spent in utero, that’s nearly 16,000 days on this planet. I survived incubation only to be pushed out of a womb and into the world.

Ever since, I’ve been forced to deal with people. It happens to all of us.

Kidding aside, the rules of life are easy. The loopholes take a lifetime to learn.

Shitty people are a whole other beast, but they’re an unfortunate obstacle we encounter on a daily basis.

How we deal with difficult situations defines us as individuals. Just because life flings poo my way doesn’t mean I’m going to shit on anyone. Plus, I won’t shit in public.

Fact is, we’re damn lucky to inhabit this planet. If you’re reading these words, you’re luckier than billions of less fortunate souls you may never know.

It’s Time to Care

I thrive in a positive atmosphere, and I think that’s true for almost anyone. The challenge is creating that atmosphere. If you’re not feeling it, you’re wasting your time.

In other words, focus your energy on things that make you feel something. That’s where passion starts and the seeds of momentum take root.

When nurtured, momentum grows like a weed. Left unattended, weeds get out of control and before you know it, you’re in a messy place you’d rather ignore than deal with. Eventually, you’re that person with a million ideas nobody wants to hear.

Passionate People Make Things Happen

At first, I had it backwards. Writing made me happy, but not happy with myself. I didn’t understand that until I took a break from writing to focus on myself. That’s what I did in St. John.

I rediscovered myself. In a sense, I was reborn. When it happened, I knew it. It was better than any runner’s high and, quite frankly, better than any drug I’ve ever tried.

The lesson was clear. Any passion found before you’re passionate about yourself risks getting lost in the wake you leave once discovering yourself. That’s when passion becomes palpable.

Passion Drives Success

Certain things will never work without passion. Life is fulfilling only after you care about yourself. Careers thrive when people love what they do. Relationships last when couples are on the same page. Communication is key.

With that hat trick under your belt, you can begin to change your world. Now is not the time to take life for granted. Focus your energy to make a positive impact in any way you can.

Easier Said Than Done

A friend recently told me she didn’t have the energy in life to reinvent herself. She didn’t feel capable of doing that right now. She said she wasn’t putting off a passion, but unfulfilled at work and stuck in a job she hates.

It’s dehumanizing when your efforts are exhausted for the benefit of others. I’ve been there. I co-founded a company where I spent 15 years gaining experience in a cutthroat, disgusting industry of a bullshit software known around the world as SAP. SAP is basically a Ponzi scheme that boils down to nothing more than high stakes poker.

I was passionate about the company, but I hated the industry. We were the little guys and we never stood a chance. We sold in 2014 and after 11 months and two promotions, I was laid off.

Bold Decisions are Admirable

Not every risk is worth taking. My younger self was naïve enough to do it. I was in my first entry level corporate job after graduating college. I was there five months and I was kicking ass. Long story short, I was cock blocked from a promotion because policy required one more month in my current position.

So, I quit.

The timing was impeccable. Everything happens for a reason.

I co-founded the company that gave me 15-years of the best experience I could have ever dreamed of having.

Eventually, we sold. After the purchase, I wasn’t as bold. I took the job like a little bitch and moved to Arizona where I was shoved in a corner. They refused to give me a contract. My responsibilities were stripped and my pay was cut.

I was promoted twice and received an outstanding review where I was told I should be next in line for a C-level position. Then shit hit the fan and I was laid off in a corporate game of chess.

The timing was impeccable. Everything happens for a reason.

At first, I looked for a job. I met with recruiters. One even wanted me to pay $4,000 in order to find a job for me. She even told me to deactivate all social media except LinkedIn.

That’s when I registered Devilish Smirk. Now, I’m on Instagram and I post publicly on Facebook. I still have Twitter and LinkedIn.

Simple Lessons Learned the Hard Way

I’ve talked to too many people who’ve given up whatever it is they used to love in order to pacify the expectations of others. I know extremely talented people who’ve lost the bright light that used to shine from within. Nothing kills the light faster than slamming the door on opportunity.

Sculpture: “The Optimist” by artist Steven Lee Smeltzer. Photo by Owner, Travis Garrod; Devilish Smirk
Welcome to the Matrix

Life is nothing more than virtual reality.

Nobody crosses paths by accident.

Keep your eyes open for the Easter eggs.

The signs are all around you, every day.

No, you’re not crazy.

Bold decisions may be required.

It almost feels like a sick joke, but I have a Devilish Smirk.

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A familiar face and a kind heart

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Some things, you cannot replace.

Before you replace anything, it needs to exist. A Friendship is a special beast within the realm of Relationships. Friendships aren’t are easy. Trust me, real friendships are easy. They do, however, evolve like anything else. It’s a two-way street.

I’m tackling this topic in an upcoming series in Rainbow Brown.

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