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Happy Birthday, Bellz!
After minor confusion yesterday, it’s settled. Today is Bellz’s birthday! She’s a very smart one-year-old. And by ‘very smart’ I mean complete and total Diva.
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2017 Nobody likes a tattletail!
Pets and the Responsibility of Euthanasia
A tie that binds every pet lover.
Most pet owners face the decision to euthanize at some point. Situations vary, but all require two things. Deciding and coping.
It’s an uncomfortable topic, but it’s one of the most important moments we experience with our best friends.
It’s a moment we all become stronger.
The pictures herein are from friends who’ve lost their loyal companions.
I’m inspired by their strength and remarkable stories. Thank you all for allowing me to include photos of your little angels.
Anticipation and excitement.
In 1999, my then-partner and I brought our first puppy home.
We both grew up with dogs. We understood the responsibilities of owning one, but never had our own.
We were prepared for Denver’s arrival well before we picked him up. We setup his crate, bought the necessities, and mouthfuls of toys. We hopped in the car; five hours later, Denver was home.
All in until the end.
I expected to outlive Denver. Most owners do, but in the beginning, I wasn’t thinking about the end. That day was so far away. I had plenty of time…look! Puppy!
I hit snooze.
Two years later, Marco arrived. Another puppy!
Snooze.
We knew they would impact our lives, but didn’t realize how deeply. After they settled in, we finally understood the heartbreak that came with them.
Denver was 12 when we put him down. Marco was 14.
I’m awake now.
Having been through it twice, here’s what I can tell you about euthanasia and pet loss:
Saying goodbye will never be easy – Both were equally hard. I was – and always will be – present. Even Marco was in the room when Denver passed. That wasn’t the plan, but it was special. That’s another story.
The responsibility was mine – At times, I wished someone would tell me what to do. Procedures, surgeries, scans, tests, medication, chemo, euthanize – your vet will advise you. Ultimately, it’s your call.
You can be thrown a curveball – Hidden ailments aren’t always diagnosed when there are no symptoms. In these cases, you may be faced with a decision within days or, sadly, hours.
When deciding, put them first – With Denver we wondered, ‘too soon?’ With Marco we wondered, ‘too late?’ Health issue or age, you will know when it’s time. You’ll see it in their eyes. They will tell you. Decide, don’t look back, and don’t beat yourself up.
“It’s okay to let them go on a high note.” – Denver’s vet of 12 years said this. She helped us realize it was okay to let him go before we had no choice. He didn’t look sick. Regardless, his seizures were bad, more frequent, and he’d been on medication for 18 months. He was a different dog.
Make memories until the end – It’s your turn to be there for them. Comfort them with your voice and touch. Don’t leave anything left unsaid as if they understand every word.
Allow yourself to grieve – I felt the void. I cried a lot. One minute, I’d be fine and fully breakdown the next. Triggers were all around me, but they weren’t. I rode waves of emotions until they simmered.
Keep their memory alive – August 30 is Denver’s day. February 17 is Marco’s day. Anniversaries aside, they’re always in my heart. I reflect with those who knew them. Eventually, the tears became laughter and smiles.
I wouldn’t change a thing – I think about them everyday and the memories they helped me create. They experienced life with me in ways nobody has. Our souls are connected forever.
Coping and time.
Pets and death is an unfortunate reality. It’s a moment you will carry for the rest of your life.
Over time, my emotions evolved. They hit hard, subsided, and occur less spontaneously. It was a painful lesson and I’m emerging more grateful than ever.
The inevitable question.
People asked me, “Will you get another puppy?” I kept asking myself, “Was it worth it?” Dogless, I saw the whole picture. Unequivocally, my answer is yes.
That’s when the new adventure began.
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Marco’s Goodbye and Bella’s Hello
I expected I would soon bid farewell to Marco. He was 14 and had surgery in October. By February, another ailment diminished his ability to walk.
We suspect cancer, but never confirmed. He deteriorated quickly so we simply made the best of his remaining time.
His spine became contorted and his hind legs couldn’t support his body beyond hobbling from bed to his bowls to the backyard and back to bed.
Eventually, he stopped returning from the backyard. Instead, he laid down in spots he never laid before. He looked sad and tired and finally looked his age.
His body was failing; medication was useless. One night he stopped walking entirely.
On February 17, 2016, we put Marco down, effectively ending the Denver and Marco era that began in 1999.
Marco’s Last Day.
The day I woke up knowing Marco would be gone before I slept again was one of the saddest days of my life.
We didn’t have a set time that day – we had an ‘arrive by’ time.
We reminisced and thanked Marco for all he gave us over the years. We cycled through laughter and degrees of breakdowns as the day wore on.
Every memory ended with the harsh reality that he was leaving us within hours.
The biggest hurdle was taking Marco to the car understanding it was his last exit from my house.
In the car, Marco had an energy I hadn’t seen in a while. He smiled and wagged his tail once again. The excitement in his eyes was comforting. It’s as if he knew and told us it’s okay.
We carried him into the vet clinic. Our tears spoke for us. There wasn’t a dry eye in the waiting area as the staff escorted us to a private room.
We cradled him as he was prepped for injections. By the time we were ready, Marco was sleeping. The vet explained what would occur. As the final breakdown ensued, a single nod gave the green light.
We sat with him until his final breath.
An unavoidable void.
I was sad leaving the vet clinic, but relieved. I felt lighter. The worst was over and it was time to grieve.
I broke down everyday for two weeks. My house felt empty. I felt empty. Everything reminded me of unconditional love lost. I swear I heard Marco bark from other rooms. I caught glimpses of him in my peripheral vision, but saw nothing when I looked directly.
Denver and Marco added so much to my life and the lives around me.
What dogs provide us is worth every painful responsibility required when owning them.
Through their lives and losses, it became apparent how much of a ‘dog person’ I am. Letting our loyal companions go will never be easy, but I will do it again.
Sooner than expected.
I wasn’t looking for a puppy when a friend sent me the link that led to Bella.
If you would have told me a girl would change my life this year, move in, and I’d pick up her crap, I would have told you that happened two years ago – and his name’s Eric.
Bella was born on January 30, 2016. I’ve accidentally called her Marco and Denver, but her nicknames are piling up.
She makes me smile. She’s a positive spirit and loves everyone. Her eyes say everything. She makes me happy and makes me think. I feel like a kid when she’s around. Best of all, she doesn’t care about my alleged snoring.
I pick up her poop and she tries to get in the bathroom when I poop. That’s a first.
Puppy energy is exactly what this house needed. It’s exactly what I needed.
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