The Spirit of a Spare

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Learning is a Lifetime Quest

Hang in there, kid. You have a gifted spirit and somewhere, deep down, you feel it. You exist in a data-based world, and learning is a lifetime quest.

Did You Believe the Children Were our Future?

I was one of those children, and you were too. We’re still those children – along with every child born since.

Children have always been and will always be – our future.

How old were you when you knew you were different?

How old were you when you felt no different than anyone else?

Pessimism is Easy

I was pissed off, angry, and pessimistic for a minute. Pessimism has one benefit; it helped me understand how debilitating a bad attitude can be. It didn’t take long to realize I was becoming the type of person who irritates me.

That’s what underrepresented, overlooked, or ignored underdogs eventually realize. 

If pessimism got anybody anywhere; everyone in the world, would be on top of the world!

One Nation, Under God, Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for…no not you. Or you, or you, and you, and you, you and you!

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm...wait, it depends what freedom is and freedom is is.

I was living in a dummy locked life wrapped in a comfortable, hand stitched, quilt of cash.

I didn’t have access to the quilt, but the piece I had was comfortable enough for me to not bother to look beyond it.

Beyond, under, behind, call it what you want, this metaphor is trite.

Ultimately, we need money to survive in this world, which means money is secondary to personal happiness and becoming your best self.

Money in America is a wrecking ball attached to every American Dream. It’s not a sin to earn and have, but it’s not what life’s about. 

Life is priceless.

Money appears worth something more than it is. Paper with a printed value isn’t priceless.

Before any of us can worry about amassing an amount of money to make money while we sleep, we have to be better humans.

Life is priceless.

While living in the land of the free, I’ve taken freedom for granted.

I was an outdoor dog with enough room to run that I didn’t care about the bolted pole I was tethered to.

While living in the home of the brave, I haven’t been the bravest I can be. 

Living in the U.S. doesn’t mean you’re brave or a brave person. The U.S. is home to a lot of adjectives and/or nouns.

There are more chickenshit motherfuckers among us than brave people. A lot of them get elected to suck life from taxpayer tits and lobbyist dicks. Welcome to D.C. (or any State Capital) where you can have it both ways!

Finally, I had a small taste of freedom that I’ve never felt before.

The Gifted Gay-Rod

I’m not saying being gay is a gift. My last name is Garrod. Throughout my life, people have mispronounced my name to make a joke.

That’s how you take back the power.

I’ve known I was gay my entire life, and I kept it a secret until leaving Alaska in 1992. My attraction to men was entirely natural; I never felt guilty about it.

Feeling ashamed and embarrassed is a whole other beast, so I kept that part hidden deep in the closet.

It was a fabulous closet where I kept a small collection of whatever male nudity I could find. International Male and Undergear catalogs began arriving in high school. I had a subscription to Details. Do the math.

Anyway, this isn’t about being gay; It’s about me being me.

My mom and dad were 19 and 20 when I was born. I was their only child. They divorced when I was five, and my soul was crushed. I was convinced my world was ending.

I was the only child in an adult world and all the adults were pissing me off.

Life would never be the same again!

I believed in magic and mutants, but I was a terrible magician.

Once I made a nickel and dime vanish from my mouth, but denied swallowing. Someone said hospital, then I said I swallowed. My dad dug through my shit and found the coins. I never put them back in my mouth.

I told myself my mutant powers weren’t ready to develop, but I knew I would eventually have them. I was going to be part of the X-Men.

It was an innate, deep rooted feeling, in my DNA, and far less confusing than puberty.

That’s when I started to create dialogue between me and my guiding voice.

The Spirit of a Spare

It’s a great time to feel alive – right here, right now, wherever, or whenever we are.

That’s one of those feel good mantras I always wanted to believe, but had every reason not to.

Extra Travis Phone Home!
I bet you thought E.T. stood for Extra Terrestrial.

“Hang in there, kid. You have a gifted spirit, and deep down you feel it. You exist in a data-based world, and learning’s a lifetime quest.

You’ve already earned the grand prize of life, and now is your time to live. In the playground of good and evil, there’s nothing more to win.

Appreciate and care for others; but your only concern is you! Keep an open mind, follow your heart, and learn as much as you can.

You’ll fuck up for sure; it’ll happen a lot, and that will never change. There are lessons to learn from the mistakes you’ll make; learn to be humble, it’s important you do this alone.

You’ll see your reflection in mirrors, at first. Those are great places to start. This isn’t a drill.

Be honest with the man you are, and acknowledge when you’re wrong. Pay attention to your pivots; your memories are seeds.

A lot won’t make sense for a very long time, and you won’t feel important – until you believe you’re important

Whatever you do, don’t become a greedy, selfish, evil, affected, awful lying twat who’s not worth a drop of piss. Universal expectations of humans are low.

It will blow your mind how many people lose themselves, and how early it happens. I can’t tell you more, but remember this: Life is jam packed with shock and surprise, and I’ll always have your back.

Aunt Samantha is the Hero We Need

My major life alignment was fashionably late. It arrived at my party confused and dressed in chaos couture. Prada was out, and Uncle Sam is in!

The Devil wears cheap shit now!

When Uncle Sam comes to your party, in low effort drag, wearing a pantsuit from Hillary’s First Lady days with an “Aunt Samantha” nametag stuck on her boob, kick him in the nuts!

America is a Shark Tank

America is the self-absorbed tampon and Earth’s a polluted womb. Mother Nature will abort you regardless of any law. She might use a rusty coat hanger for shits an giggles simply because she doesn’t give a fuck.

According to her, we’re all failed miscarriages.

Simple concepts are ridiculously complex behind the curtain, or was that the quilt of cash? I have no idea, it’s a distraction that no longer works.

I came fully equipped with faults; America was fully prepared to fuck me – bareback, no condom!

Nothing was gonna keep them away from this DNA.

Besides, the government doesn’t fund sex stuff and nobody embezzles money to buy a bunch of rubbers.

Nothing was gonna keep them away from this DNA!

Life is a Game of Memory

I only know what I see, hear, read, say, learn, do, or witness.

I spent the first 40 years of my life picking up the seeds that life left scattered all around me, anywhere, everywhere, every day.

When my brain bursts, a flood will come. This will get messy.

I’ve been spending a lot of time at Darby’s All You Can Dream Buffet. I’ve discovered stockpiles of Weapons of Mass Creation.

I got chills; they’re multiplying.

It’s easier than ever for likeminded creatives to emerge from anywhere you shine your light.

Inspiration is abundant thanks to the global artists pouring their energy into the World War Work of Art.

For sure, you’ll encounter an occasional poisoned awful. The easiest skill to master is tuning out the awful. Ignoring them completely? Not so much.

This is my reality, but it’s impossible to know what’s actually true. I was that kid always asking “Why?” and “What if?”

My favorite was, “What if a toilet fell from the sky and hit you on the head?”

Travis, that will never happen.

“But, WHAT IF?”

TRAVIS!

“Are you a boy or girl?”

I’m a woman.

“No, you’re either a boy or you’re a girl. What if those are your choices?”

Travis…

“You’re a girl.”

I’m a WOMAN!

“No you’re not.”

My curiosity was fueled by the weird imagination of an only child.

Question everything to understand anything.

Personal Insights Visible Over Time (PIVOT)

Pay Attention to PIVOT Events in Life. A PIVOT is any major life change or shift of future trajectory.

My brain is working overtime, and there’s no telling where, or how far my mind will go.

I’ve sensed a major shift in people I’ve met, particularly within the last year. They’re more open, accepting, optimistic, and genuine; I’m blown away with stories they share.

People are opening up. Why not? If our president can, you should.

It’s give and take, except you don’t take anything. You receive.

Energy redirects if your receptors are there.

Energy is a boomerang, and it either it hits you hard, or you catch it like a pro. Pick one to throw, you have a choice; Nerf, or the authentic Australian weapon?

Australia outlawed guns, but not the boomerang! What goes around, comes around. Literally.

Whichever one, pay attention. Some take a lifetime to come back. 

Now is not the time to think this sounds silly. Who the fuck cares? You don’t have to bet the farm to smile.

It starts with a simple gesture, and proactively exploring your world, in the present moment.

Lighten Up! 

These days, I encounter unfamiliar brands of strange more frequently and unlike any before. They are powerful, undeniable, humbling, and smirk worthy connections.

At this point, it’s comical because I have nothing to prove and lifetimes of shit I want to do. 

I’m beginning to think I’m dead because life never felt so great!

That’s me being honest.

Now, pick one of the options below.

Leave this encounter with an idea – a seed to ponder for yourself, or openly discuss with others.

You don’t have to write shit like this, but you can try. It’s not easy. Nothing worth doing is easy.

I do it because I love it, and I don’t do it enough – or do I? It feels like three jobs. What do you think?

Guess what? Doesn’t matter!

The human mind is capable of flourishing many seeds in abundance and nobody forgets who had a hand in planting and cultivating their botanical growth.

Then there's this lovely box where you can roll you eyes, or look at your phone like you might already be doing. Now, let sounds escape the hole below the nose on your face that sounds like a caged bird tripping over and repeating words like you're crazy, how many drugs did you do? That sounds stupid; I don't believe it. Plot twist! This box is sound proof!

By the way, have you heard…?

Artful truth and unique creations trigger emotions beyond expectation. Genuine, heartfelt vulnerability is what resonates in reality.

An organic, natural evolution is important to me, but I’m learning faster than ever, and I come up with more ideas than I can produce alone.

I’m locked and loaded into the power of collective imagination.

The future I see is brighter than ever. Whether or not it happens is up to me. That doesn’t mean it’s colorful, bright, and pretty every damn day.

Dead or alive, you are guaranteed a legacy fully directed by the actions you choose.

What’s done is done and time for me to sort my messy collection of life in this completely hypothetical brain teaser.

I’m as excited as a try-out cheerleader perfectly executing five consecutive bent-knee cartwheels.

This Extra Devilish Mess is brought to you today by:

The Cheerleaders from the movie Wildcats!  

"U-G-L-Y! You ain't got no alibi! You ugly! What? What? You ugly!"

Extra Extra Devilish Mess

And now, a word from our sponsors: Clowns in a Volkswagen, Software Scandals, and Diesel Emission & Oil Addiction!

If, for whatever reason, you didn’t make the squad, the maze wasn’t meant for you.

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2 thoughts on “The Spirit of a Spare”

  1. It’s been a while Travis! Wow!! I love revisiting your writings ,especially since I’m in a different place today than I was when I first started reading your work nine months ago . Your writings alway fulfill and inspire me. I still hope to meet you one day.
    My favorite line on this piece “Dead or alive, you are guaranteed a legacy fully directed by the actions you choose.”
    Thank You 🙂

    1. Hey Andre! Thank you for sticking with me! I appreciate it so much. You’re the second friend to call that out. I love it to learn what sticks in the minds of a reader. We will meet. For sure. I need shoes! 😉 ~Travis

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