Technology Archives | Devilish Smirk

SHARE THIS

When someone says “I’m old,” it probably wasn’t a question. Whether or not they say it in jest, it needs to stop.

I’m 41. I’m a fairly social guy. My friends range in age from their 20’s through 60’s. Randomly, they’ve said it.

I don’t want to hear it anymore. You’re not old!

Life expectancy reached 50 about 115 years ago. Today, it’s about 80, but people can live into and past their 90’s.

If you think you’re old long enough, you’ll begin to believe it. You’ll grow old, thinking you’re old, while you’re not old. Depressing, right?

We need to think better of ourselves a little bit longer. What do people really mean when saying “I’m old”?

“Tired” – After 18, you’re an adult for the rest of your life. It’s called growing up. Responsibilities are exhausting, but they don’t make you old.

Establishing credibility in what you do takes time and energy. Sacrifices will be made. Everything you do in life becomes a matter of priority. You’re not old, you’re tired.

“Lazy” – Excuses! You just don’t want to do anything! You want to sit on the couch while your body fuses to it. Have you seen What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? I don’t want to spoil it, but an extremely large character dies. Her house becomes her crematory. There was no getting her out. It’s actually a really sad story and Leonardo DiCaprio was amazing in it.

Also, don’t blame age for your lack of knowledge. Technology, for example, makes people feel left behind. Nobody is excused from the school of life. Things change. Your brain still works. Learn. My brother is 19 and his favorite hobby is knitting. I’m serious! He’s probably better at being old than you. You’re not old, you’re lazy.

“Vain” – Recently, I had a conversation with a friend in her early 30’s. She said she was old four times. I assured her she wasn’t, and that’s why people say it. People don’t mean it, they just want you to tell them differently. Stop it. You’re not old, you’re vain.

“Unhealthy” – You cannot eat like you did through puberty. You need to find a calorie-in/calorie-out balance. The consequences of consuming desserts frequently when you’re 24 aren’t due to age. You’re not old, you’re unhealthy.

We’re programmed to joke about age between friends. It’s predictable humor, appropriate for birthdays, and only fake-laugh funny. Thank the birthday card industry. Do they even make age joke cards for truly old people? Like, “Whoa bitch! I can’t even with those tits! You’re 90, you should be dead! Here’s a shovel and graveyard plot!” I think that was on a card given to me when I turned 30.

Fact is, we can all learn from each other. There’s nothing wrong with growing up or getting older. It’s reality! Embrace it. It happens to everybody if they’re lucky. Inspire people younger than you. So what if you have a new appreciation for the value of your time. Kick back on that couch you can now afford along with on demand entertainment. Just remember to get out once in a while.

SHARE THIS

In 2012, direct spend on conventions in the U.S. was $280 billion. A presence at these events is a requirement for companies trying to make it in their industry. Attendees travel, in droves, to host cities that can can accommodate the influx of visitors.

Technology and software companies do not mess around with conventions. They are a game of one-upmanship between competitors.

Hosts spend small fortunes to bask in the spotlight to unveil new products, make headlines, announce partnerships, and bestow awards that are the corporate equivalent of high school yearbook superlatives followed by an often awkward photo op.

Exhibitors bombard attendees with information and logo’d trinkets as they follow their planned agendas. Days often extend into hospitality suites, parties, and VIP events where sellers and buyers network over cocktails.

Your time is limited. If you’re not careful, you will become occupied with time-wasting conversations. There are certain attendees you want to avoid. Here are a few examples:

“The Trick-or-Treater” – They walk the exhibit hall looking for handouts. They might ask what you do, but they don’t care. Some ask for the SWAG directly. They’ve either stalked your booth or someone told them what you have. A quality tote is a great handout. Shove everything they have in it and let them walk away.

“The Faux Prospect” – They have been with their company a while and they are in the early stages of a big project. The attendee is there to gather information, but potential work is a long way down the road. It doesn’t hurt to foster a relationship with these attendees, but do not expect much.

Earpiece — “This thing is a phone. I’m on it.”

“Disengaged Conversationalist” – They don’t make eye contact. Conversations with them are rushed and they’ve already decided you can’t do anything for them. They talk fast and loud. They will interrupt you to take a call.

“The Boondoggle” – These aren’t hard to avoid because they are rarely at the convention hall floor. They show up to so long as they can prove they were there. They might have convinced their employer to send them on an expense-paid trip to a vacation destination that’s not the office.

“Last Call Holdouts” – The pack animals attendees end the night by closing the hotel bar. They will pull anyone they recognize to the bar for “one more drink.” They usually miss a portion of the next morning because they are “taking a call” in their room. If you decide to join them, they will use a lot of these terms. Learn the language.

“The Sloppy Drunk” – The slippery slope between networking and embarrassment gets slipperier by the drink. If you see a wasted executive in a dancing sandwich between his employees while someone shouts “free licenses!” and snaps pics while others record video, reconsider your relationship. It’s not acceptable for an executive to be escorted off premises, waving his hands in the air like he just don’t care while babbling “she’s protecting the brand” repeatedly. It happens.

“Convention Crashers” – You may encounter someone whose name doesn’t match their badge. Assume that Jennifer dropped her badge and the guy wearing it doesn’t belong there.

Optimize your trip by avoiding any of the above attendees. You owe it to yourself and your company to make the most of it.

SHARE THIS

Tag: Technology

You’re Something, but You’re not Old

Convention Intervention